Blocked

Jokes

I was dating a Polish girl online. I was typing "I love you.. " and then my cat smashed the keys of my keyboard. She blocked me..

She: Oh, you love my cousin? So long, asshole.

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Where do you go when the road is blocked in hyperspace?

On an R2Detour.

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Jaime blocked me.

Jai is a good person though.

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My wife complained that my life revolves around Facebook and it has destroyed the way we communicate.

So I've blocked her.

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My wife and I were trying to have sex when the slow cooker set off the fire alarm.

I was crock blocked.

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My son make cock out of lego

he get cock blocked hahahaha

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How to get the girl

This is a spammer (questionably mentally ill or autistic). Please report this guy (3 small buttons at the top of the post - select SPAM) and/or send an email to the mods to have him blocked - as he posts the same thing repeatedly in numerous subs, gets blocked, creates a new profile, and then reposts.


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My grandfather told me this one

Three moles are in a den, when one of them sticks it's head out and says "I smell molasses!" The second one does the same, but when the third tries to poke it's nose out it's blocked by the other two and says; "I smell mole asses!"

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We learned today that Trump blocked a proposed budget change that would have eliminated finding for the Special Olympics.

He must have been pretty mad at the thought of being unable to compete this year.

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I just blocked someone on Facebook

for correcting my grammar and it feelded great!

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If sound gets blocked off before it reaches your cochlea

Does that mean it gets cock blocked?

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The alarm went off when I was trying to have sex...

I was Clock-Blocked

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If men get cock blocked

Do women get beaverdammed?

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Today, as a teenager, I managed to run a hard and long conversation with a girl

She blocked me afterwards tho

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If only Steve Irwin was wearing sun screen...

It would have blocked harmful rays.

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I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar

and it feelded good.

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Tried to visit rconstipation

Turns out I was blocked.

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What do you call a reptile that gets denied of mating?

Croc Blocked. Don't ask me my mind is weird as hell this should be in r/ComedyCemetery

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?

He got cock blocked 🤣

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So my cousin is having twins...

She posted "I'm expecting twins"

so I commented, finally two kids from the same man.

She blocked me.

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Every year at my house, the toilet ends up blocked on Boxing Day.

Damn puppies never flush easily.

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TIL Starbucks blocked porn websites of their Wifi...

I guess too many people were fapping into their frapes

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Starbucks has blocked porn in its stores.

They no longer are leaving room for cream.

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I almost always have a blocked nose, so when I don't, I make sure to savour it.

I just won't stop breathing.

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So I was just at the gas station buying condoms and my card gets declined...

I just got cock-blocked by Visa

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This one is pretty long, so check the description.

This message has been blocked by the North Korean government.

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Mexicans in the United States

[Blocked]

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So a river gets blocked off.

"Well I'll be dammed."

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A guy walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

The construction workers have blocked the entrance ever since that drunk got in.

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Went to see my doctor about a blocked ear

He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said “homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair”

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What is the difference between a cock blocked due and a tree?

At least the true got a root

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I am a bus driver OC

When I was young, I was a tractor fan, and I've spent most of my life in the Marine reserves, and working as a bus driver. Through it all, I've been through many hardships. The other day, I was walking with friends, and a mugger leapt out with a saber and threatened us.

I said, "do your worst", so he tried to stab me, but I blocked him with my arm and quickly punch


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With many truck routes blocked from Wildfire, California residents are having beef shipments airdropped to them.

The steaks have never been higher.

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I was in line behind this guy buying condoms and his card just got declined.

The old lady behind me whispered "He just got cock blocked by visa"

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What is Minecraft stalkers biggest fear?

Getting blocked.

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Went to see the doctor about my blocked ear.

"Which ear is it?" he asked.

"2018." I replied.

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Dear friend, I am Peter Ngobi and the other day my other died. Severe warnings in your area are showing up on our system. If you don't tell us what you do in your private time, your credit card may become blocked.

All I need now are your wank details.

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My city likes their sewers like I like my ads

Blocked

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My wife's got one of those things that helps her give me oral pleasure.

A blocked nose.

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What's the difference between America and Canada?

This joke has been blocked by your ISP.

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A crazy girl just called me a stalker and then blocked me

I don’t know what her deal is but I’m about to ring her doorbell and find out

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I have so many salacious jokes about Trump...

But they’re blocked by NDAs.

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I have so many salacious, underhanded jokes about Trump...

But they’re all blocked by NDAs.

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The diagnosis

I am coughing and a blocked nose.

Internet diagnosis: I’m 26 weeks pregnant.

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If the right way is blocked...

don't worry, there's usually one way left.

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I showed a girl my third leg. She blocked me.

I have a bad back so sometimes I use a cane.

So anyway, I found a girl I didn’t know personally and messaged her “Do you want to see my third leg? It’s hard, black, and a lot longer than you’re expecting. I guarantee it.” So she said “Hell yeah! Send it!” So I sent a picture of my cane.

She blocked me.

It’s a tr


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I sent a girl a picture of my third leg and she blocked me. X-Post rconfession

[deleted]

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I sent a girl a picture of my third leg and she blocked me. X-Post rconfession

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The doctor's office blocked my number after I kept calling about Pokemon.

I don't know what the hell they're taking about, but I really need someone to take a look at this bulbous sore I have.

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I bought a book about how to deal with a blocked pipe

The instructions were clear

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