Blinking

Jokes

Why is cyclops not married?

Because everyone thinks he’s blinking but he’s actually winking even though he has one eye

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There was an old Civic

Mr Smith was driving his spanking new Tesla down the highway when he saw a 98 Honda Civic on the side of the road, and the driver waving for help beside it. Smith was on a good mood, so he pulled over and asked if there was something he could do.

"Yea she'll start purring once I get her to move, can u tow us for a bit, just to get her engine running?"

"


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A funeral is in progress.

One mourner approaches the grieving widow.

“May I have a word with you?”

She nods, blinking tears from her eyes.

“Plethora.”

“Thank you,” she replies, taking his hand in hers. “That means a lot.”

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My sister asked me what the point of blinking was

I said “moist your eyes sis”

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Fred got on a train

Fred got on a train. Across from where he sat down was a man who kept flinching. Eventually he asked if there was something wrong that he could help with. The man replied, "oh don't mind me, it's just a nervous tic I picked up in Afghanistan where I served for 6 months." Fred tried not to be irritated, but soon the flinching man got on his nerves and he hopped off the train at


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A guy goes to the doctor

“Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control!”

Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.”

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”

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You know whats annoying?

You are now manually blinking your eyes.

(Dark humor)

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An astronaut who travelled to the edge of the universe noticed an anomalous reading...

...his shuttle readings came back to inform him there was a flat solid matter extending from his location to the universe's horizon, like a path.

He approached cautiously but a black hole suddenly formed behind the ship. The spacecraft went haywire, lights blinking, alarms blaring and he barely put on his suit before the whole ship got torn up and he was left standing on the path


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A guy goes to the doctor.

Guy: Please help, I got this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can't control.

Doc: Here's the medication for that. Just give this to the pharmacist.

Guy returns to the doctor after going to the pharmacist.

Guy: Are you sure a condom can help me with this doc?

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Why do asian drivers dont use blinkers?

Because - like their eye, they think we won’t notice blinking.

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A small issue

A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.”

Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.”

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”


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Abracadabra... Manual breathing, blinking, and swallowing... all gone!

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How to change the blinker fluid in your car or truck:

STEP ONE: wear safety glasses! If you get any fluid in your eye, it will cause uncontrollable blinking until you wash it out.

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A guy goes to the doctor:

A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.”

Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.”

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”


read more
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A guy goes to the doctor: Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just cant control. Doctor: Ah come on, its not so bad as you think.

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”

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A Texas man who just won the lottery is just leaving the dealership in his new Ferrari...

He decides to take a vacation to New York to explore and see the Statue of Liberty, so he does. He made the drive to New York and discovered that his car had been equip with a magical gift. He stops at a new dealership to get his car appraised, the dealer asks “Well, what is this so called gift?” The Texas man replies, “it’s taken me 20 hours to drive here, and I lear


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Old experiment

#You are now breathing and blinking manually.

#also you are aware of your tongue now.

Let me know if this worked

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I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard...

Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking.

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Troll your friends by texting them a fake blinking ellipsis ("...")

http://imgur.com/3RM8yC2

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My son asked today: Why the dude's ear is blinking blue? Because he has a blue tooth in his ear...

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Your breathing rhythm is no longer automated

And so is the blinking of your eye

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Two men are at the urinals...

Two men are pissing at the urinals next to each other. One tall and the other short. The tall guy notices that the short guy is blinking his eyes a lot. "Ah, I see you are a welder. Your eyes blink like that". The short guy replies "No, man. It splashes."

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The blinking light inside my locked car.

"Come at me, bro."

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