Beggar

Jokes

A Republican and a Democrat are walking down the street. They come upon a homeless beggar.

The Republican reaches into his pocket and pulls out twenty dollars

handing it to the man.

The Democrat is impressed by his fellow's unexpected generosity. They continue down the road and soon come upon another beggar. Not wanting to be outdone, the Democrat reaches into the Republican's pocket and pulls out fifty dollars for the man.


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A beggar went to my store trying to buy food. She only had coins, and in the end, she was missing a quarter.

I buried the bloody bag of coins next to the 3/4 left of her body.

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A man wakes up in a dingy slum

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people


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A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $2.00 and that Continues for a year.


Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $1.50

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $1.00

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.

“First you give me $2.00 every day, then


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Explain the joke

Can someone please explain these jokes to me?

1. George W Bush unexpectedly drops into a nursing home on his way home from church one Sunday. The Matron of the home hurriedly gathers all the residents in the large day room to meet the President. George starts walking amongst the old folk, chatting about good times and past times. He sits himself down next to Ethel, 98 years old. "


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I found out that I can use the Force

I faked punch a blind beggar and he flinched.

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What does one call an Italian beggar?

Giovanni Change....

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A man wakes up in a slum with no memory of how he got there.

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All of


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One of my favourite jokes



A man wakes up in a dingy slum with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this


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A man wakes up in a dingy slum

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people


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What did the beggar say to the Arab merchant when he was given some spare change?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

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Beggar

I saw a beggar sleeping in a tyre. I punctured it . Now he is staying in a flat.

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I ran into a beggar who turned out to be my college classmate

He was a little embarrassed at first. But after he realized that there's more cash in his tin can than I have in mine, he started acting all arrogant just like before.

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An American, a Japanese, an Indian and an Indian beggar are travelling together in a bus

While talking among themselves, the American suddenly throws his iPhone out of the bus and says "Ah! Not to worry, we have a ton of iPhones in our country."
Not to be left behind by the show-off, the Japanese throws his Nintendo DS out and says "Well, we have tons of Nintendos in our country so don't worry." and smiles to himself.
They both turn to the Indian


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A man Wakes Up

A man wakes Up in a dingy Slum with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

​

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive


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What do you call an Italian beggar?

Giovanni Change

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A man wakes up in a slum with no idea how he got there...

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All of


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A woman walks near an alley...

As she walks forward she sees a beggar asking for money. The woman, being nice, gave him 5 dollars. The next day the woman took the same path and saw the same beggar. The beggar approached the woman and thanked her since he hasn’t the last time they met.

B:“Thanks, you really saved my skin
back there.”

W:“No problem”


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One of my favorite jokes

A man wakes up in a dingy slum with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth r


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A man wakes up in a slum with no memory with how he got there.

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All of


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A beggar walks up to an overweight woman who was eating a burger and says,

"I haven't" eaten anything in four days"

She looks at him in awe and says, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

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A man wakes up in a dingy slum, with no memory of how he got there...

A man wakes up in a dingy slum, with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourt


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What's the difference between a chef and a beggar?

Whether there's a space between "pan" and "handler".

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A lame, a blind and a beggar were walking together at night

Blind man: The stars are so beautiful!

Lame man: Shut up or I will kick you hard.

Beggar: Ugh! You two always fight and hurt each other then I have to bear all the costs.

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What do you call an Italian Beggar?

Giovanni Change.

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Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finall


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Pope gets a lesson

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy.

One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none gi


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I was walking when I saw three beggars each holding a sign.

I approached the first one and read the sign: “Money please"
I gave him a couple of pennies.

I then went to the second beggar who was begging for food. Fortunately I had a sandwich in my backpack and I generously gave it to him.

I then went to the last beggar and was dazzled. The sign read: “I need 5000 upvotes or I will die of cancer.”


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Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finall


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A Man Wakes Up Dazed and Confused in a Strange City

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All o


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A man wakes up in a dirty slum

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.
"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come he


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A Man Wakes Up Dazed and Confused in a Strange City

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All o


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Generous man giving Beggar a hand.

Beggar: Give me food.
Man: I'll give U Vodka.
Beggar: I don't drink, give me food.
Man: I'll give U cigarettes.
Beggar: I don't smoke, give food.
Man: I'll take U to race.
Beggar: I don't gamble, give me food.
Man: I'll get U girl friend.
Beggar: I love only my wife.
Man: I'll give U food, but first U hav


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So, a man wakes up in a dingy slum with no memory of how he got there.

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.
"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."
All of a sudden, a s


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A beggar walks into a restaurant.

He buys a meal with the little amount of money he’s earned, after 3 days of hinger. He lifts his tray and gleefully walks towards a table. But he doesn’t realise that there is a receipt on the floor and he steps on it, falling down and spilling his precious food on the floor.

What a pity, wasting food over a slip of paper


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A man wakes up in a dingy slum

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people


read more
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Man wakes up in a slum with no memory of how he got there.

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All of


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A man wakes up in a dingy slum,

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people


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A beggar walks into a bar.

He approaches the counter and is very agited, trying to get the barman's attention.

"What can i get ya?" The barman asks, expecting the beggar to ask for a free drink or some coins.

"A toothpick. Got any toothpicks?"

He hands him a toothpick and the beggar exits the bar.

'Hm, wierd' the barman thought to himself


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Man wakes up in a slum with no memory of how he got there.

He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here."

All of


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What do you say to a beggar who's wearing a Star of David?

"Jewish I'd give you money."

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A man wakes up in a dingy slum,

with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

"You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people


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What's the difference between a beggar and a US Politician?

A beggar has retained his integrity.

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A beggar once asked me, "Any change?"

I said, "Nope. You're still broke."

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Jebediah and a beggar talking on the street

Jebediah walks along the street and sees in one corner a beggar, all dirty and ragged, and he asks Jebediah for some money.
Jebediah looked at him and said: "Dude, do you drink?"
The beggar shook his head.
Jebediah asked again: "Are you a womanizer?"
Beggar again shook his head.
Jebediah: "We'll do it this way, bu


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A beggar walks up to a wealthy, upper-class lady and says, "I haven't eaten in three days."

She responds, "You must force yourself! You must force yourself!"

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Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome

Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Final


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Why couldn't the beggar sit down?

His ass was broke.

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What happened when a beggar asked an extraterrestrial (alien) for a dollar?

A beggar asked an alien (disguised as a human) for a dollar. The alien asked: "What's a dollar?" After a moment of confusion, the beggar then replied: "You have a point! Can you give me five dollars?"

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Beggar has a girl friend.

A beggar came to a man and ask give me 10 bucks I have to take my girl friend to coffee shop.
Man replied WOW A beggar has made a girl friend.
Beggar replied NO. Girl friend has made me beggar.

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