Basement

Jokes

It was very good feeling, when I was in very bad mood and thinking about all my mistakes, and then my beloved crush came in my room.

Yet I was terrified she escaped my basement third time this month.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change the lightbulb in my basement?

...Well, it's not 5.

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I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model

She's in my basement. What do I do?

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Can we cool it with the Epstein jokes already people? I mean christ, the man had children.

Locked in his basement.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb

Must be more than nine because my basement is still dark

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How many dead baby's does it take to change a lightbulb

Must be more than nine because my basement is still dark

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Im really looking to re-capture my lost youth.

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People say having lots of kids is a hassle...

My basement says otherwise

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People usually say having a lot of kids is a hassle...

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How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb

Has to be more than 20 because my basement is still dark

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Why am I getting Amber Alerts?

I thought I took the phones away from the kids in my basement...

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Did you see the story about the kidnapper who held kids in his basement?

He was captivating

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I like my women like my wine!

I like my women like my wine, 12 years old and in a basement.

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People are all worried about the bad things that will come with face recognition...

And here I am in my moms basement wondering what the big deal is

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How many dead bodies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Obviously not 8 because my basement is still dark

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If you guys think its weird that guy in Cleveland kept 3 women in his basement as sex slaves, wait until you hear what my middle aged uncle Gordon kept in his basement...

An electric train

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Superman was taking a stroll one night

As he walks past the local church, the priest runs out to him and says "Superman, you've got to help us. The walls that lead to the basement has collapse, and there are people trapped down there!!

"No way", he replies. "I can't go near the crypt tonight!"

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So the girl of my dreams doesnt have the same affection that I have for her and that really sucks because I really liked her. Oh well. I guess I just have to move on and let her go

She’s been tied up in my basement long enough

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How many children does it take to paint the wall in your basement?

Depends on how good your throw is.

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What did the American say when his wife fell down the basement stairs?

"Honey, could you bring me a beer?"

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My friend got super high and fell down his basement steps

The doctor said he suffered some pretty severe blunt force trauma

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My girlfriend has a heart of a children, face of a teenager and Brian of a scientist.

Found them in a freezer at her basement. Not sure should I run or call police.

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How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Im not sure yet, but there’s three in my basement and it’s still dark.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 20 because my basement is still dark.

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How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know yet but it has to be more than eight because my basement is still dark.

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Why did the chair get arrested?

It held someone up in their basement.

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My wife really pissed me off tonight before she went to bed early..

So I went in the basement and took a huge shit in the cats litter box. That should keep her confused for a good week.

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I like my women how I like my whiskey

6 years old and in my basement

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well it must be more than 7, because my basement is still dark.

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My wife fell down the basement stairs trying to fetch some potatoes for dinner.

So I had pasta instead.

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I say that I'm on a "low carb" diet.

What they don't know is that devouring five plates of spaghetti and garlic toast while lying on the basement floor still counts.

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I hate when the Jehovas witnesses come knocking at my door.

I mean their food cup was full when I last checked the basement.

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What is the difference between Isaac Newton and the 3 year old in my basement?

Only one of them died a virgin.

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What is the difference between Isaac Newton and the 3 year old in my basement?

Only one of them died a virgin.

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How does it look in Michael Jackson's basement?

Stupid question. Every child knows that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

My 2009 Buzz Lightyear action figure has learned how to operate my handgun and is keeping me hostage in my basement, this is my only form of communication please I need to know how to reset him wirelessly or he’ll kill the Pizzatown delivery guy when he brings me my pizza

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How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Has to be more than 17 because my basement is still dark.

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How many toddlers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Well, 4 isn’t enough. Because my basement is still dark.

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People who live in glass houses

Should go to the bathroom in the basement.

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How many children does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than ten, because my basement is still dark.

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How does it look in the basement of a church?

Stupid question, every child knows that.

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I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement.

Well, at least I think they're vegans. They keep shouting "Lettuce Leaf!".

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It was hot today, so I dragged a box fan from the basement and lifted it into a window to suck the warm air out of the house.

It was exhausting.

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If Trolls are meant to live in caves and under bridges

Why are my living here in my moms basement?

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Charles, Angus and Patrick had just broken out of prison

Knowing that the police were hot on their tails, they dashed into the nearest building they could find; and old pub. Worried that the police would arrive at any second, they headed into the basement to hide. In the basement they found three large burlap sacks, which they hastily climbed into in an attempt to conceal themselves.

A policeman walked into the pub and asked the old landlo


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Who called it thunder and not SoundCloud?

Probably some scared Australian who went to his basement.

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Two men are standing a heavens gate...

.. The queue is moving slow and they get talking to one another.

"So how did you wind up here?", the first man asks the second.

The second man scoffs and says, "You don't want to know."

"Try me", the first man replies.

"Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me so I left work early and tried to catch he


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I like me women how l like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

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I love my girlfriend but she does try to take my food from time to time

But that’s because I never let her out of my basement

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I like my women same as i like my wine

Stocked in basement for 10 years.

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