Bargain

Jokes

Dad, am I more black or more Persian?

Dad: Why do you ask?

Son: There a kid at school selling his bike. Should I bargain or should I steal the bike?.

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Best pickup line

Are you dormamu? Because I’ve come to bargain.

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Why do the jews have long noses?

So they can sniff out a bargain better

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Black Jew comes home from school

“Dad, am I more black or Jewish?” Dad: “why?”
“A kid in my school is selling a bike for $20,
I don’t know if I should try to bargain it down to $15
or just steal it”

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I saw a sign in the booze aisle of the supermarket. It said "Alcohol-free"

Fucking bargain, I thought, so I picked up ten bottles of Prosecco.

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I recently brought a car with a new company called Bargain.

As the name suggests, they’re cheap. Tires aren’t great and it’s not very efficient. Worst of all are the seats. I mean, they’re uncomfortable and really flat. Anyway, I picked up my friend one day, and I was telling her all about Bargain. She too clocked the flatness of the seats. When we arrived at her house, she got out and I asked if next time it was alright if I brough


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Friend: I paid 100 for a ticket to a gaming invention, what a bargain.

Me: You mean 'con'

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When people ask me about my prosthetic arm

I tell them it was crazy expensive. It costs an arm and a leg, but I was able to bargain.

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What do you call a free slave?

A bargain

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Holiday

Just walked past the Butchers Shop window, sign says Turkey £29. That's a bargain! £150 more at Thomas Cook. (UK only joke)

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I made a bargain when building my new home.

The slater just told me that the roof is on the house.

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It was a fantastic bargain, but I really should have read the advertisement more carefully

Because I'm not sure what to do with a Clarence.

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It looked like a good bargain, but I should have paid more attention to the details

Because, I'm not really sure what to do with a Clarence Seal.

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Frere Jacques Frere Jacques

Dormammu? Dormammu?

I have come to bargain, I have come to bargain

Sling Ring Wong, Sling Ring Wong

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1 post 2 jokes

1. What's the worst thing about being Black and Jewish

Whenever you see something on sale you wonder should you steal it or bargain for a lower price

2. What's the worst thing about being Balck and Jewish

Sitting in the back of the oven

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A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral listening to the eulogies being read....

A man sitting behind her in the church gently taps her on the shoulder and asks "do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, not at all" she replies.

The man stands up, clears his throat and says "BARGAIN". He then sits back down.

"Thank you" the woman says "it means a great deal".


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A man goes to a wedding...

And he's the best man. He goes to the groom, and asks if he could say a word. The groom accepts, and the best man goes up and says "Bargain". The groom replies, saying "Thank you, it means a great deal.

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An Apiarist was invited to a party

When he arrived, he was alive with energy, complimenting the owner of the home, and asking all sorts of questions. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the most beautiful of candles.

Apiarist: "Where did you get these beautiful candles?"

Owner: " I got them from a recent farmer's market, quite a bargain, too!"

Apiarist: "What are


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Bargain Booze is shutting down...

You could say it's gone into liquidation.

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Shoes are a bargain.

I bought two for the price of one.

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Ive seen online that you can get 20 .223 Remington rounds for $7.99.

It means I can take my wife and her three kids out for under $2. Bargain.

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LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach it isn't any different than the bargain brand

They taste exactly the same

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LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach it isn't any different than the bargain brand

They taste exactly the same

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The only reason a Hillary Clinton presidency would be good for our country

At $0.78 cents to the dollar, she'd be a bargain for our country

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We all know the old saying "I named my dick 'The Truth' cause bitches can't handle it..."

I call mine "The Plea Bargain" cause ladies only take it as a last resort.

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How do you call it when an Irish person goes out for drinks?

A bargain

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I would pay 5$ to see my girlfriend naked on the street

I don't have a girlfriend, 5$ would be a good bargain

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Why do male prostitutes make more money than females?

Because they always drive a *Hard* bargain. :D

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How to bargain with your wife

Me: Can I get a motorcycle?
Wife: No.
Me: Can. I get a boat?
Wife: NO!
Me: Can I get a blowjob?
Wife: (sighs) Is it a BIG boat?

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The other day I saw a sign that said "watch for cars"

Now that's a bargain if I ever saw one.

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What do Jews drive?

A hard bargain

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Pharrell must like bargain hunting.

He got his suite pants half off.

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There are things worse than death

A young, single, and very handsome test pilot is forced to eject from his jet. His parachute fails to open, and as he plummets to the ground he prays that somehow he will be saved.

He hears voice say, I will save you, but in return you must make the next woman you see happy for the rest of your life.

He says, anything, I'll do anything, just save me. Just then, a st


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A Scottish Sargent knocks on a whore-house door.

When the madam answers he says "Excuse me madam. But could you tell me how much you would charge for the pleasure of my company?"
The madam gives her price and they negotiate back and forth until they come to a bargain. Once the reach agreement the Sargent says "That sounds like a fair price."

Then he turns, gestures behind himself and yells "OK lads. We


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Electrons love a bargain

An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"

Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".

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Just came back from Dubai where a sheik offered me 40 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but who could resist a bargain like that?

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