Bake

Jokes

A man's toaster oven...

...is a little girl's Easy Bake Oven.

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My Jewish grandma's cookie recipe is perfect.

They bake just reich.

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I was trying to bake an egg-based dish with fresh vegetables but my wife told me not to

I said “why don’t you like quiche”

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I came up with a get rich quick scheme to sell Indian sourdough bread you bake at home

...but it turned out that plan was a Naan starter.

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Why did the clan bake sale get cancelled?

Because they ran out of WHITE FLOUR!!

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I told my family that there should be plenty of bongs and blunts at my funeral.

It’ll be a true wake and bake.

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Why are cookies called cookies, and bacon is called bacon, but you have to bake cookies and cook bacon?

It's like that Parkway / Driveway mess up, all over again!

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What did Hitler receive on his 6th Birthday?

An Easy-Bake oven.

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What sound soes a 747 plane bake When it bounce on the runway?

Boeing boeing boeing

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WARNING: Not for Vegans VEGANS EXPOSED

I asked my vegan friend what she likes the most?

She replied "Bacon!"

Even gave me a book on baking so I could bake myself some bacon perfectly.

I tell you, these vegans dont follow rules

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Sorry is repost. What did hitler get for his 6th birthday

G.I Jew and an Easy bake oven

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Happy 420! Why did the farmer give dank gummies to his chicken with Parkinsons?

Because chicken is better with shake and bake.

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A french pastry chef asked his apprentice to bake a shit cake.

After the cake was done, the pastry chef came back gagging.

I said a sheet cake! A sheet cake!

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Freddy Mercury was invited..

.. to be on 'Celebrity Bake Off' . The host says to him "So, Freddie, how many cakes will you be making for us today?" Freddie replies "I want to bake three..."

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Baking

Did you hear about the baker who tried to bake bread with out yeast?

..He got naan

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I was going to bake a pie in honor of today.

But it would be irrational.

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My local Baker says he can bake 20 loaves of bread in one hour with one small oven...

I said prove it.

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Michael J. Fox And Snoop Dogg

Shake and Bake

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What temperature do you bake 2pi?

360 degrees.

Trigonometric joke I created myself

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What did hitler get for his 6th birthday?

A easy bake oven

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What do homicide detectives bake with?

Doe.

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TV execs are said to be delighted at the viewing figures for the final of the Great British Bake Off 2019 of 7.1 million.

That's 1.1 million more than the legendary Great German Bake Off of '44

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Freddie Mercury offered to cater my wedding, so I asked him how many cakes hed be making.

He said “I want to bake three.”

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Have you ever played the game where you bake bread in the shape of French toilets?

It's called hot bidet dough.

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How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in an oven and bake it until its bill withers.

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I made sure I got my wife exactly what she asked for this valentines day.

Hopefully she'll bake something nice with the assortment of flours I bought her.

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When her husband gets home from work the wife says

Wife: honey the dishwasher broke
Husband: I am not a mechanic, so call someone to come fix it
Wife: ok I will
Two days later the husband comes home from work and the wife says
Wife: honey the refrigerator isn’t staying cold
Husband: I already told you I am not a mechanic and I work hard all day. Call a mechanic to come fix it
Wife: ok I will
A wee


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Why didn't Hitler bake pizzas in ovens?

Because pizzas didn't scream

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What is a Klansman's favorite ingredient to bake with?

White flour

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People think they will get upvotes on their cake day.

But they haven't been enlightened. Sorry to bake it to you. (i'm so, so, so sorry)

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A customer walks into a bakery and orders a loaf of bread. As the baker wraps the loaf, the customer says, "You know, I bake my own bread at home, but they come out dense."

The baker looks up suspiciously and says, "Yeah, prove it."

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How do you bake an alligator?

Croc pot.

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What do wizards use to bake cakes?

Caster sugar.

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Over the holidays, I'm participating in a pro-life bake sale

We'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

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Men say - "Let's get this Bread "

Women say - " Let's bake this Bread "

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What did hitler receive for Christmas ?

A G.I. Jew and an easy bake oven

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I may not know how to bake toilet paper

But I do know how to brown one side.

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Why did the Alabama Baker go out of business after he refused to bake cakes for gay weddings?

Because he refused to bake for incestuous weddings too.

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Church bake sale

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies Group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale, and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took th


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Instructions unclear

The first time I tried to bake a cake I followed the instructions to the letter, but it was a disaster — I almost burned the house down. The fireman told me that when it said to grease the bottom of the pan they really meant the inside of the pan.

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How do you turn a duck into a singer?

Put it in an oven and bake it till its bill withers.

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What do cannibals call people with Parkinsons?

Shake ‘n’ bake

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What does a witch use to bake cookies?

An Easy Bake Coven

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How do you bake an emo cake?

Flour, eggs, butter, sugar, we're going down swingin'.

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What cooking setting do prisoners use for ovens?

Convect Bake

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What do you call a lightweight stoner having sex?

Easy bake shovin

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What did the French man bake his Japanese friend to say thanks?

An Ari-Gateau

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I found the perfect addition to any kitchen. Blend, mix, chop...even bake!

It's called a wife.

Ow! Dammit, that hurt! Apparently can throw really well too.

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How do you know the cookies you left to bake inside your hot car are good ?

The baby stopped screaming.

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They ridiculed me for trying to bake a theatre

But soon the curtains will rise!

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