The father of an autistic son was threatening to suicide by jumping from a crane. All the family tried to negotiate with him, even the autistic son...

... with the crane.

What does an Autistic Texan say?

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-haw

A dog is brought to a vet to get shots.

The dog is now autistic.

Im thinking about losing my virginity to an autistic person

I want my first time to be special

You know what's something neither gay or autistic people can't do...

... Think straight

Why did the autistic kids step on a prism?

Because he was on the spectrum.

My autistic son finally started talking. His first word was yeet!

They won’t let me vaccinate him again. I called.

NSFW How afraid of getting old am I?

So much I want to punch myself in the face like an autistic kid when I forget shit.

How afraid of getting old am I?

So much, I want to punch myself in the face like an autistic kid when I forget shit.

Why are gay people autistic?

They can’t think straight.

My Autistic Daughter's Favorite Side Dish:

Asperger's with a side of Fries!

Unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic

because they are more likely to be dead

What's the weirdest thing a woman can turn into?

A fish.

(Courtesy of my 15 year old autistic brother)

You know, people are always telling me how I dont communicate right or dont understand emotions.

You know what i say to that?

Kiss my ASPERGERS!

(Joke curtousy of my Autistic coworker and good friend)

Why are most autistic people gay?

Because they can't think straight.
Sorry

What trait do autistic people and leprechauns share?

They're both on the spectrum

Anti-vaxxer: all autistic kids had vaccine shots therefore vaccines cause autism.

Me: All Autistic kids also live past the age of 2.

I took my autistic son for a walk around the park when this little dog comes racing up to us. Next thing I know there's a poo all over my shoe.

​

​

My son gets really nervous around dogs.

Fuck yeah I'm autistic.

A -my
U-grandpa
T-puts
I-his
S-cock
T-up
I-my
C-ass

What did the autistic redditor say when their joke was stolen?

REEEEEEEEEE-post.

What do you call a autistic Person, who doesn't believe in God?

An Autheist.

What do you call it when an autistic kid gets vaccinated?

A level up.

What do you call a bunch of autistic kids boiling alive?

Vegetable stew

Einstein had one autistic brother and one brother in the military.

He had a "special relative" and a "general relative".

What do you call a vaccinated trump voter?

Autistic

Unvaccinated children DO have a lower autism rate than vaccinated children.

Because they're dead, you autistic vaccinated child.

An autistic child go to school

First try at posting a joke. It's my favorite, I don't know if it's a repost, it is better with some gesture but I'll try anyway

My doctor told me one of my vaccinations expired

Oh good, now I don’t have to worry about becoming autistic

An autistic person can easily become a painter or a pirate.

With just a little arrr.

A Baked Potato

I told my wife I wanted a baked potato, so she gave our autistic son some weed.

An anti-vaxxer had 5 sick kids and then 4 died... how many did he have left?

The one autistic one.

My friends said i look like autistic Dwayne Johnson

In one thing they were right but the other, not so much.

What is wrong with an autistic persons handwriting?

It's really REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE cursive.

Unvaccinated chdren are less likely to be autistic.

Because they are more likely to be dead

Where does an autistic jew go?

To Au-schwitz

What is an autistic person's favorite cable provider?

Spectrum

TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic.

Because they are more likely to be dead.

Why do vaccinated kids never get sick?

They become autistic and never leave the house.

How do you keep an autistic kid in suspense?

Take away his Ritalin

Whats worse than a child with autism?

A parent who’d prefer a dead child over an autistic one.

#Autistic&Awesome

A grown man called me autistic today.

Never talking to my psychiatrist again.

Why does Chick-fil-A always have a autistic employee

They need someone to laugh at

You are shooting up the school. The autistic kid pulls out his glock and joins you. How do you thank him?

Wow, thanks. We weren't expect special forces

Unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic

They are more likely to be dead!

My friend told me that I must be autistic for not vaccinating my children.

It's such a shame that people still don't know how autism works.

So my friends brother, who is autistic, was crying.

So I told him : “Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down.”

What do you call a group of autistic soldiers?

Special Forces

What do you call a group of autistic soldiers?

Special forces

What do you call a group of Autistic soldiers?

United States Armed Forces.

What do you call it when an autistic child has a fever?

Mercury Rising.