Authentic

Jokes

My wife says that she wants some authentic teacups for her birthday

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To the person who stole my authentic and original copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you and I will kill you

You have my word.

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I went to a Lord of the Rings themed restaurant. The food was horribly authentic and the waitress was as uglier than an Orc, but I have to give her credit. There was a table of 12 and it only took her ...

...one bring to gruel them all.

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People complain that Taco Bell isnt authentic.

But it gets the job done for half the price of other restaurants and nothing is more Mexican than that.

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I dont smoke cigarettes......

I just smoke really authentic looking e-cigarettes.

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Where does Captain Picard go to enjoy an authentic Shabbat dinner?

The challah-deck

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Yesterday, I got one of those extremely authentic, hyper-realistic sex dolls- and shes so life-like its almost eerie!

For instance, as soon as I got her home last night she told me we should just be friends...

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I heard about a brand new Indian restaurant

They serve fresh, authentic bread, but they always run out. I stopped by after work. Turns out they had Na'an.

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My friend took me to an authentic Chinese restaurant and when we arrived there was a pen of dogs to choose from in the entry.

That's not what I meant when I said you can pick the Spot.

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I bought this authentic Game of Thrones sword for a ridiculously cheap price

It was a Valyrian Steal

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Authentic Annie

I went to Amsterdam for the Anne Frank guided tour but I decided to sneak into the secret annex at night and hide from the guards to get the full experience.

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Nearly Every Joke on rjokes right now is like when Donald Trump gets his haircut.

The barber says " Nothing Authentic "

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What I love in this subreddit is that every post is truly authentic ...

There is literrally no repost of any kind, what a perfect place to be.

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In Soviet Russia an American Spy tries to blend in...

George Keats had trained 20 years for this moment. He had mastered the Russian language in its native accent. He learned all of Russia's customs and social graces. He memorized Moscow streetmaps and knew every back-alley there was. He swore that he could even think like a Russian.

The big day finally came, and he was parachuted to the outskirts of Moscow at night. He emerged by d


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Ray and Bessie are an old, retired couple who moved to Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.

Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "notice any


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An Irish woman insisted I have an authentic 7 course Irish meal...

She gave me a 6 pack and a piece of Sheppard’s pie.

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Went to an Irish an authentic Irish bar last night

[deleted]

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Whats the name of the hottest authentic Chinese food restaurant in China?

The Pet Chop

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Have you ever had authentic Zimbabwean food?

The people of Zimbabwe haven't

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A man goes to his barber to get a haircut.

As the barber is cutting his hair they start to chat a bit.

The man says “It’s me and my wives anniversary soon. We’re planning a trip to Rome as we've always wanted to go to Italy and really experience some authentic Italian food!”

“Ahh, don’t bother” says the barber. “The whole city is just full of McDonald’s on


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I went to an Italian restaurant that claimed to be super authentic. But they weren't.

It was just a bunch of Impastas

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Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads?

Brazil

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My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves.

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Mexican artists were hired to make Donald Trump look more "authentic" to the Mexican demographic.

So they drew a bunch of penises on his face.

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My neighbor is an authentic italian chef and he just bought a new Dodge...

His name is Chef Boy-RT

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The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt

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So my mom won't stop asking me about trying to find an authentic African restaurant somewhere in the city...

I keep having to tell her that I know absolutely nothing about dieting.

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I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.

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I found this place online that sells authentic moon rocks.

The rocks themselves are really cheap, but the shipping is a bitch.

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Went to mexican restaurant

it was so authentic the waiter said dont drink the water

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I couldn't remember what my wife wanted for Valentines Day...

Was it a Vera Bradley bag or a Vera Wang?

Luckily some guy on the street was selling authentic Vera Wangley bags.... can't wait to see the look on her face.

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OC What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January?

Genu[w]ine.

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How did he know that amish chair is authentic?

because he got it from amishdirectfurniture.com.

(thiiink about it...)



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I wish Johnny Rockets would stop claiming to be an authentic 40s diner...

... I see black people eating there All the time.

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What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?

Steal a chicken

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