Assign

Jokes

I was asked to say a few words at a funeral so I said "Allocate, assign, apportion" :

The grieving widow came up to me after and said "Thanks, your words all meant allot to me"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An asthmatic flea gets assigned a new job position

They assign her to work on Jack's moustache.

She goes to work one day, then the next, but after a while she can't take it anymore and goes to complain to her boss.

"You know," - she says. - "I love the job and all, but I have asthma and Jack is a smoker, so I can't work there anymore."

So, the boss decides to assign her a ne


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was going to tell a joke.

But I'd rather just bitch about reposts and assign arbitrary numbers to jokes like a fucking autist in the comments.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A council was tasked to assign a town song to Chernobyl

After a long debate and several people explaining why it’s a terrible idea, they finally decided on the song “Radioactive”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I accidentally ripped up my homework assign about the history of perforated paper.

It was tearable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A survey has found that majority of women assign a certain ringtone for their partner.

Men do that too. It's called silent.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A survey has found that majority of women assign a certain ringtone for their partner.

Men do that too. It's called silent.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A survey has found

that majority of women assign a certain ringtone for their partner.


Men do that too. It's called silent.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE