The baddest guy in the west.
The Asker was the baddest guy in the west, and everybody knew it. With his heavy cowboy boots, his huge cowboy hat, and a loyal revolver, he was a man to be feared. One day, The Asker enters a local bar, and heads slowly to the tab.
Everyone is already paralized when they recognize him. He walks up to the first table in the place. "Tchk, tchk, tchk", the boots loudly sound.
I was at the library and I asker the librarian if I could buy some condoms....
She said, "excuse me sir but you are in a library." I was so embarrassed! So I leaned over the counter and whispered, "*may I please buy some condoms*."
Kiwi jokes (possibly puns)
What does a kiwi smoke? Kiweed!
What do you call a smart kiwi? A wiki!
Two kiwis walked into a bar. One kiwi asked the other "Do you like your beak?" He didn't answer. The asker gave a bet. The kiwi lost the bet against the asker. The asker said "Pay up!" And the kiwi said "You can put it on my __bill__."