Arrangement

Jokes

The Devil invites Mike Tyson to hell one day to enjoy himself.

He had guests over and he thought they'd like reveling over a background where a person goes around knocking over the residents of hell down. They apparently did not seem to enjoy themselves over it. He told the residents that he'll let them off easy in the next few days if they were eager to get knocked down. The guests then seemed to have a great time. There was one guest who seemed pa


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TDevil invites Mike Tyson to hell one day, to enjoy the day for himself.

He had guests over and he thought they'd like reveling over a background where a person goes around knocking over the residents of hell down. They apparently did not seem to enjoy themselves over it. He told the residents that he'll let them off easy in the next few days if they were eager to get knocked down. The guests then seemed to have a great time. There was one guest who seemed pa


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My wife refuses to let me play orchestra music when were having sex.

Eventually we came to a different arrangement.

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What do you get your mom for Valentines?

An Oedipal arrangement

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I just asked my mother if she wanted to fuck me for Christmas.

I thought she said she wanted an Oedipal Arrangement.

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Special Arrangement

My doctor and I have a special arrangement to help my body image. He tells me "you're an eight", and, in return, I give him a cup of my own pee.

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How can a floral arrangement suck your dick?

It only needs two lips

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Did you hear about the kid who killed his dad and fucked his mom at the flower shop?

It was an oedipal arrangement

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Valentine's day for mlm

A guy sends his mom a fruit basket for Valentine's Day.

It was an Oedipal Arrangement.

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A nail, a wall, and a mule walk into a bar.

Despite the improbable arrangement, the bartender asks them what they want.

"Anything," the nail says. "I just want to get hammered.

"Same," the wall said. "I'm looking to get plastered."

They all turn to the mule.

"Nah, I'm on the wagon," he says


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What do you call a circular arrangement of terrible rjokes?

Groanhenge

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It was my Nana's funeral last week.


We all walk into the chapel and there’s a huge floral arrangement on the coffin that says: “81.131.11.216”
My mother hisses to me, “What is *that*?”
I shrugged. “What you asked for: our IP in flowers.”

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Barrel Satisfaction

In days of old, this young sailor was about to sign up for a 6-month trip on a sailing ship. He asked the captain about sex life since there would be no women on the ship.
"Don' ye worry about it, lad. We'll make sure your needs are taken care of."

After about 2 weeks at sea, the lad had a bone that wouldn't go away, so he went to ask the captain how t


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It was my dads funeral last week.

We all walk into the chapel and there’s a huge floral arrangement on the coffin that says: “81.131.11.216”
My mother hisses to me, “What is *that*?”
I shrugged. “What you asked for: our IP in flowers.”

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If I wanted to seduce my mom with fruit...

...should I send her an Oedipal Arrangement?

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REST IN PEACE

The businesswoman ordered a fancy floral arrangement for the grand opening of her new outlet, and she was furious when it arrived adorned with a ribbon that read, MAY YOU REST IN PEACE.
Apologizing profusely, the florist finally got her to calm down with the reminder that in some funeral home stood an arrangement bearing the words, GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW LOCATION.


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What's Shia LaBeouf's favorite kind of choral arrangement?

DUETS

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I went to an extremely traditional cannibal wedding this weekend

It was an edible arrangement.

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I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture.

I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.

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The morning after a long night of drinking, I went to buy a flower arrangement.

The guy at the counter asked me if I had been drinking. I said, "No. I woke up like this. Florist."

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Did you hear about the old man who ran naked through the flower show?

He took first prize for 'best dried arrangement'.

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Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show?

...he won first place for a dried arrangement!

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My wife and I have a new arrangement.

I can sleep with any woman I want, but she doesn't speak to me or live with me anymore.

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