Argue

Jokes

Me and my blind friend argue a lot about small issues.

Apparently, we don't see eye-to-eye on anything.

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Why are politicians so frustrating to argue with?

because they always act on aMotion.

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Can't argue with that

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other " Which do you think is further away ... Florida or the moon the other blonde says HELOOOOOOO can you see Florida

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Two men argue:

- *How could you sleep with her?!*

- She was naked, what else should I do?

- *The autopsy!*

- Dont tell me what to do!!

- *You are the worst veterinarian ever*!!

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A man once asked a wise man.

'What is the secret to eternal happiness?' the man asked.
The wise man replied 'To not argue with fools.'
The man said 'I disagree.'
To which the wise man replied 'Yes, you are right.'

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Never argue with someone on The London Eye...

...You'll just end up going round in circles.

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Why don't I like debating with a smurf?

They'll argue till they're blue in the face

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A lady at Wholefoods was trying to convince me that all doctors are corrupt and vaccines cause autism...

I said “I’m sorry, I don’t have the energy to argue with 3 people right now”

“But it’s just me here” she replied.

I said “No, mam. It’s you, Dunning & Kruger”

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A lady at Wholefoods was trying to convince me that all doctors are corrupt and vaccines cause autism...

I told her “I really don’t have the energy to argue with all three of you right now”

“But it’s just me here” she said.

I said “No, mam. It’s you, Dunning & Kruger”

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Don't argue with idiots.

They bring you down to their own level and beat you with experience.

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In a recent study 10 of americans were found to have 70 or more drinks a week.

I would argue those statistics are skewed by Alcoholics.

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Dont argue with the logic of a sonogram technician

It’s ultrasound

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So me and my wife have just had a baby and all we've done is argue about what to call it.

She wants it to be named after her mother, but I just don't feel comfortable having a child called Cunt.

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If you ever lost in the woods

don't panic! Start talking about politics and someone will show up to argue with you. Just follow them back when they leave.

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What is the secret to eternal happiness?

1: "To not argue with fools"

2: "Thats bullshit"

1: "Yes"

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Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

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There are two was to argue with your wife....

Neither one is right!!

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I never argue with the dull and clueless

If this isn’t funny, you’re right.

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A family is discussing their daughters grades

Daughter: "I finally have a 4.3GPA!"

Mom: "Last time I checked it was 4.2"

The daughter and mom argue for a bit before the daughter pulls her phone out to look it up.

Daughter: "Yeah, see! Right here it says I'm four three!"

Dad: "Honey , you're a bit taller than that aren't you?"


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Can't believe Corbyn is now in charge of Brexit...

How a man who has decided to sit with the most despicable and dangerous groups of people is allowed to do anything regarding the future of the UK is a disgrace. Some people may try to argue he has precedence, but I would suggest dealing with the IRA or Hezbollah is nothing compared to the current Tory party.


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As a Muslim man I try as hard as possible not to argue with people in my community

Because I dont negotiate with terrorists

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A man asked a wise Guru: "What is the secret to eternal happiness?"

The wise Guru answered: "To not argue with fools."

The man says: "I disagree."

The wise Guru replied: "Yes, you are right."

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Money is the number one thing that couples fight about.

So why do women get so frustrated with me? There’s nothing to argue about.

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People argue that whether gender and sex are the same thing

I can I show you that they are not.

I have a gender but I have never had sex.

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Why do I and the girl I lost my virginity to never argue?

Because the 1st root has the smallest possible argument

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The N words

Two kids argue. One calls the other Nigger the other one calls the first a Nazi.
Ladies and gentlemen what is worse, a Nazi or a Nigger? Who was more offensive.

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After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again.

Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself,

and how not to argue with me at the top of the stairs again

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Why did the redneck argue with the police officer about getting a ticket for an open container?

He thought he had a right to beer arms.

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My buddy said he wants to join the Navy.

And I said “But that’s where all the homosexuals are!”

He replied “No they go to the Air-force.”

I said “ No. Now am I saying there are no gays in the air force? No way there are plenty. But I would argue they go to the Navy because your cabin mates would never know if it was the ship groaning or you and Brady over in the other bunk.&


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How Jamaicans argue

First they shout at each other over the fence.

When they get tired of doing that they then **turn up** their sounds systems and play degrading songs at each other.

And to end it all they then start playing gospel songs and preaching the Bible.

So now you're in church.

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I came here to do two things: argue about science, and make sure my children don't get vaccinated.

And I'm all out of children...

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Two men see a woman.

They begin to argue with each other. The first man tells the second man, "she has a great body, but that face is absolutely a game ender. 2/10." The second man considers, and replies. "I see what you might be talking about. But with that body... I could get behind it."

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My girlfriend and I constantly argue about not trying new things in the bedroom

She said she's sick of asking me to try pegging.

She's such a pain in the ass.

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My friend and I were arguing

And I was really getting tired of the argument.

So I wrote my name on a page in my notebook and wrote his beside mine.

I then showed it to him. With confusion clearly written on his face he asks:
"Why did you write my name beside yours. How does that relate to our argument"

And then I replied: "we don't have to argue anymore since we


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How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They will argue about which bulb to use and how bright to turn it on, then give up and try to build a wall instead.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to smash the current lightbulb, one to argue that being in multiple pieces is different from simply not being able to light up and therefore constitutes a change, and one to explain how this adds up to a $600 bill.

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How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the bulb, 10 to cry racism, and 19 more to argue the wage gap is real.

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How many Democrats and Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They only argue about why lightbulb isn't operational and leave entire room in the dark.

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How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they're too busy eating popcorn outside watching their neighbours argue over lightbulbs while their house burns down.

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How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

280. One to finally change it, and the other 279 members of congress to argue about how the light would never have burned out if Trump wasn't President.

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I tend to argue quite alot

When someone says "A",
I say "C".
Why not "B"?
Because fuck you that's why.

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People with those "Change my mind" signs aren't looking for a healthy debate they just want to argue and annoy other people

Change my mind.

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My ex and I used to always argue about the same thing.


She’d say, “I’m NOT your girlfriend.”

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When my wife and I argue, were like a band in concert

we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits

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It's pointless to argue against rainstorms.

They're too deluge-ional.

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Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"

Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"
Guru: "Don't argue with stupid people."
Tourist: "That's nonsense."
Guru: "You are right."

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A husband asks his wife, "You never argue when I get mad at you. How do you always control your anger?"

"I clean the toilet."

"How does that help?"

"I use your toothbrush."

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How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them. First Peter Murphy does it, then Andrew Eldritch does it, and then the rest of them argue endlessly over who did it better.

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"I got this new girlfriend from a New Age community, but we argue with each other all the time..."

"Oh, a Twin Flame..."

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If you ever wondered how it looked like when two deaf people argue

just look at two Italians having a conversation

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