Approval

Jokes

The Department of Justice has announced the approval of a merger between Reddit and a Hindu temple

This is anticipated to create $50 million of synergies in the karma industry.

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President Obamas approval ratings are so low...

now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.

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Jumping from the bridge...

Bikers were riding west on I-70 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State
Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tear


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I always seek approval from a qualified architect before removing my condom.

After all, it is load bearing.

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My teacher told our class, I realized I had to say the F word to my mom to get her approval

The class got really interested, why in the world would you say the F word to your mom in general? And why would that get her approval??

She said “I had to tell her, I forgive you”

The class let out a loud “FUUUUUCK”

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The presidential limousine pulls up to Air Force One. Donald Trump steps out with a baby boar tucked under each arm.

As he’s about to board the plane, a secret service agent stops him and asks “Sir, forgive my intrusion, but what’s with the boars?”

Donald motions to one and says “I got this one for Eric,” he motions to the other, “and I got this one for Don Jr.”

The secret service agent nods in approval and says “Excellent trade, sir


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So this guy applied to leave the USSR. Part of the process was random police searches for anti soviet material. Unfortunately for him, he had a parrot that would curse Stalin in language that would make a sailors ears bleed.

One day he hears a knock on the door. The loud rapping of the KGB. Thinking quickly, he grabs the parrot and stuffs him in the freezer where he was hoarding a frozen chicken. The KGB do their inspection and leave with a grunt of approval. Once they leave he gets the half frozen parrot out and thaws him out.


As soon as he gets warm the parrot screams: “death to western cap


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Just got an award for this porno i made.

But i still cant get my family's approval.

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How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation?

The ask the Seal of Approval.

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Trumps wall is like his approval ratings

They’re both never going up

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Two dudes were masturbating in my living room.

I told them to beat it but they didn’t leave! They even thanked me for my approval! I don’t approve and I’m appalled and offended.

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Biker Joke 118

A group of Arizona bikers were riding south on U.S. Route 93 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Hoover Dam Bridge.

They stopped to check out the situation. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey baby, whatcha doin' up the


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Donald Trump has a fear of downward slopes.

Particularly his approval rating.

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Legendary biker

Arizona bikers were riding South on the US-93 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Hoover Dam Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the StateTrooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She s


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Bikers see a girl is about to jump off a bridge...

(I got this joke off Facebook and don't know if it's been posted here before)

Arizona bikers were riding South on the US-93 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Hoover Dam Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the StateTrooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, an


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What haw two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone.

(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)

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Trump's approval among African American voters hits 36!

Shit, my bad. That's obviously not right.

How do I edit that "%" out of my title?

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President Donald John Trump's abysmal approval ratings would soar if he dropped sick beats as D.J. Trump.

The beats will continue until morale improves.

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President Trump's dismal approval ratings would soar if he dropped sick beats as D.J. Trump.

The beats will continue until morale improves.

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Trump has become the ruler of the whole world, and it's his birthday.

He demands that the ambassador of every country bring him something famous from their homeland to please him on such a glorious day.

First comes the ambassador of Germany. Along with him, he's brought the keys to a new concept car built by both BMW and Mercedes. It's the only one in production, and it's plated with gold. Trump nods his head in approval, and the German a


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I am so insecure and paranoid that I would like to kill myself.

But I'm too afraid to ask for approval.

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Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge......


.....George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State
Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to app


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My father asked if bf ever read That Dark and Bloody River book?

I told him he doesn't enjoy period pieces.


Note: This is an actual exchange this past weekend that was not met with appropriate laughter or approval from my family.

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Putin has an 87 approval in Canada!

Whoops, I meant to say Poutine.

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New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for NAFDAC approval

[deleted]

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Who authorizes all U.S. naval special operations?

The SEAL of approval.

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How will Donald Trump build such a huge wall without congressional approval?

By forcing every Juan to work on it.

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When you are going out with a woman it's important to get the parents approval.

[deleted]

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When you're dating a girl, it's always important that you get the parents approval.

[deleted]

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The Constitution of Japan

Article 3. The advice and approval of the Cabinet shall be required for all acts of the Emperor in matters of state,and the Cabinet shall be responsible therefor.

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I'm so deep in the friend zone that she sends me nudes for approval before they go out to other guys.

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I keep trying to think of a joke about linear regression but i'm so independent I don't need your approval.

[deleted]

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Satire: If A Paid Russian Propaganda Trolls amp RussiaToday Were Transported Back In Time To Germany, 1939

I support Reich Chancellor Hitler because he is the smartest leader, better than that cripple Dumbo 'President' Roosevelt who is too stupid to rescue AmeriCAN'T from the Depression. The Fuhrer has a 99% approval rating. What is the approval rating of Neville Chamberlain?! You Deutscher-phobes hate Hitler because he is the only one capable of standing up to Western capitalism &am


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I'm so deep in the friend zone that...

she sends me nudes for approval before they go out to other guys.

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A perverted chicken.

There was this perverted chicken that would rape every animal that he lives with in the barn. Be it the cows, pigs, ducks, you name it. One day the other animals see the chicken squirming violently in the ground. The pig goes "He finally gets what he deserves", the other animals nod in approval. The chicken then suddenly turns his head to look at them and says
"After I'


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One Day In Class...

Little Johnny's teacher told the students that they were going to be learning about the alphabet. "Does anyone know a word that starts with the letter 'A'?" she asked. Immediately Little Johnny's hand went up along with a few others. The teacher, knowing that Little Johnny has been known to use dirty language, decides to call on Susie instead. "Apple!" Susi


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Have you ever noticed that cigars and scotch taste the same?

They both taste like my dad's approval.

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Why did the Redditor cross the road?

To bask in social approval.

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A Jew, Chinaman, American and a Indian are sitting around a table

... and they're all sipping on their bourbon. They're all very rich and they chinaman says " I think I will buy Apple. " And they all nod in approval save the jew.
Then the Indian says " I want to buy Google. " And they all nod in approval save the jew.
Then the American says " I want to buy Samsung " And they all nod in approval save the jew


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The snake and the skunk

A man and his wife are coming to America with their pet snake and pet skunk. As they are walking up to the gate, about to board the airplane, they read a sign that says no pets allowed through customs. The wife gets a little distressed and asks the husband, "What are we going to do?" After thinking for a few minutes he comes up with the solution that he'll wrap the snake around his


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A Jumper

On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.

The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

Wh


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My greatest flaw is that I seek approval from others...

...but that's not so bad, is it?

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So, X-rated websites have been given the approval to have the XXX domain name?

Surely this is going to confuse the Americans when they are shopping for clothes online.

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