Appreciation

Jokes

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who manufacture forks.

Thanks for every tang.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Our marriage councilor said I need to show my wife more appreciation for the things she does.

So this morning I slipped her a twenty and said “this is for last night”.

I don’t understand.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Being unable to get over a cold through sheer moxie has given me a new appreciation for modern medicine.

It can be good to have Amoxicillin.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do soldiers show appreciation?

They say “tanks”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

True story!

I wrote a post on r/misc stating that I was born on squirrel appreciation day.

One person replied: "That's nuts!"

Another person replied: "And here you are, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The appreciation of Kopi Luwak is very niche...

It’s only for people who understand coffee and shit.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Breaking pop star news

This just in: Ariana Grande, during an exclusive tell all interview, reveals for the first time her deep sadness and grief in the harrowing wake of the 2018 concert bombings that left so many young fans brutally maimed and killed, and shares plans for a new single.

Entitled “Thank u, legs” the song is a touching tribute to a newfound appreciation for retaining bipedal move


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Never any appreciation

Sure, I might be one of the world's greatest pickpockets, but does anyone ever notice?

However, there was one time when I ended up in a police lineup, but even then I didn't get the recognition I deserved.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Give Thanks

\-White people: "Let us celebrate this anniversary of you giving us your home"

\-Native Americans: "You fucking took it and raped us!"

\-White People: "Shhhhh.. eat this turkey"

\-Native Americans: "That was my favorite pet turkey!"

\-White People: "Thank you very much for showing your appreciation for


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Just want to show my appreciation to all the staff working in the Intensive Care Units by saying

I See You

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Long Veteran of Mexican war

Guy walks down the street of Texas when he sees a homeless guy with wooden leg. He immediately thinks: "Of course, some dirty homeless guy asking for money...".

Then he notices a written note in front of the homeless guy saying: "Veteran of Mexican war".

Guy remembers what was going on during the war, he realized how the homeless guy was fighting for


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Breast implant patient in appreciation for the surgeon's work said: "Thanks for the mammaries!"

​

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So it turns out I was banned from the anal appreciation club today..

What a bunch of fucking assholes!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the aesthetician ( a person who is knowledgeable about the nature and appreciation of beauty ) go on a diet?

It’s too hard to eat Jenny Craig when you have Mary Kay on your face.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the esthetician ( a person who is knowledgeable about the nature and appreciation of beauty ) go on a diet?

It’s too difficult to eat Jenny Craig when you already have Mary Kay on your face.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Let's show a little appreciation for smokers.

If it wasn't for them, it would have been many years until we could have charged our phones in cars.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You gain appreciation for a lot of things in your old age...

Simple things that maybe you didn't realize you treasured before - that bring you comfort in their familiarity.

You come to cherish those little things. For me that thing is single ply toilet paper. When I use it, I feel whole again.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's foot fetish. Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..

I got off on the wrong foot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Just finished my degree in Homosexual Appreciation

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why don't they have national men's appreciation day?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's Bill Clintons favorite holiday?

According to Lewinsky...
Happy Employee Appreciation Day!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on.

He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked
if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th
hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He
thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady
again with the same request.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day... (NSFW)

and I don't get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I decided to dress as a woman for a day to gain an appreciation of what it's like to view the world through the eyes of women and find out how they are treated in today's society.

I found out that they get called "Freak" a lot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Canada appreciation day.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes?

Thanks for nothing!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

US Mexicans who support Donald Trump

Clearly demonstrate appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico.
---

^And ^come ^back.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

US Mexicans who support Donald Trump

Clearly demonstrate the appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico.

EDIT: Wow! thanks for the gold.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man staggers into...

an AA meeting and while giving his introduction, he weeps and struggles to finish then is overcome with emotion while somberly telling a story of how he didn't pick up his kid from school because he was drunk at the bar. Wife left and took his son. Says he hasn't seen them in years.

Just then a man stands up and yells, "Hey asshole, this isn't AA! It's the Cap


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did Vladimir Putin give in appreciation for Reddit gold?

His *tanks*

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the Korean restaurant have a lesbian appreciation day?

Because they know they love to eat pussy!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"The Hobbit" was one man's gift to the world

A mere Tolkien of appreciation for all the world had done for him

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Statues need more appreciation

too often they are taken for granite

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm getting a new appreciation for black and white films...

I just watched jungle fever and I loved it!!!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The gift.

Knowing that the minister had a very sore throat, an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.

"This is quite soothing,” the woman said, "but please don’t tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."

"I understand," replied the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An Arab needed a heart transplant

, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the calls went out to a number of countries.
Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You C


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm going to the inaugural meeting of the Dodgem Car Appreciation Society later.

They're expecting a bumper crowd.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Geography of a Woman vs a Man.

Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors.
Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed& convinced of her own beauty.
Between 46 & 55 a w


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Geography of a Woman vs a Man.

Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors.
Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed& convinced of her own beauty.
Between 46 & 55 a w


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Geography of a Woman vs a Man

Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors.

Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... very hot, relaxed& convinced of her own beauty.

Betwee


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE