Appointment

Jokes

Have you heard about the dentist with best customer retention?

Was handing out candy at the end of appointment.

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What do you call a really bad rap battle?

A dis-appointment

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The tariff is a thousand dollars per night.

a jewish man knocks on appointment house:

- Hi, I want to see Samantha.
- One minute, sir.
They let the man in. After a while, a beautiful woman descends the stairs:
- You have called me.
- Yeah. I want to spend the night with you.
- Okay, but my tariff is a little expensive. A thousand dollars per night.
- the money doesn't matter.


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A man went in for a doctors appointment...

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I told my therapist I was suicidal.

She told me to stop by the receptionist's desk immediately after my appointment to make sure my bill was completely paid off.

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I got my results from 23 and me today,

A very nice pop up book and a free appointment for a tubal ligation.

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What do you call a doctor whose appointment you just missed?

Dis-appointed.

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My eye doctor keeps nagging me about being due for my next appointment. I told him I'm going to wait until next year.

...................When it's 2020

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Today I called my doctor's office asking for an appointment. She said, "how about 10 tomorrow?"

I said, "No I don't need that many."

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I had to leave office yearly because i had an appointment to meet a horse doctor

I have no idea how that horse became a doctor

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A man calls his doctor and says "I'd like to cancel my tomorrow's appointment."

The doctor replies:

- Well, in such a case it will not be refunded, as appointments need to be cancelled three days in advance if you want a refund.

- Can I have it rescheduled then?

- Yes. What do you think about 3:30 PM next Friday?

- That is all right.

- Thank you.

The man then says:

- So I'd like my


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After his last appointment, my son complained about how his hair looked. I told him it'll grow on him.

His oncologist, on the other hand, is not as optimistic.

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What time is your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurty

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Doctor joke

I canceled the appointment with my doctor because i was sick...

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I'm a retired Gynaecologist but ocassionally I do the odd appointment at a local surgey.

You know.... just to keep my hand in.

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If you have an appointment for a good punchline

You're going to be disappointed.

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How do women in jail get drunk off an appointment?

By getting their pap smear samples

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I have an appointment with the horse doctor tomorrow.

How a horse became a doctor I have no idea.

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Elderly couple

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row.


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I went to an appointment with the foot doctor today.

Damn, I didn’t know that Dan Schneider got a medical license!

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An odd dentist appointment

A woman is at a dentist appointment and is looking scared. The dentist, trying to alleviate some of the tension, asks if she knows how latex gloves are made. She replies, “No,” and he tells her men dip their hands in a vat of latex and wait for it to dry, effectively creating a latex glove. The woman doesn’t laugh at first. Then, a few minutes later, she starts laughing uncontrol


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A 50 year-old woman visits her doctor

and reveals to her doctor that when she goes to the bathroom, pennies come out of her. The doctor replies, "Don't worry about it for now, but come back next week if it continues." The next week, she is back. "Now I go to the bathroom and out come nickels! What is going on?"

"I'm still not quite sure, but if it doesn't stop in a week, make anothe


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A man goes to his doctors appointment.

Doctor: your x-ray results came back, its just what I was afraid of

Man: what is it?

Doctor: skeletons

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I had an appointment with this new doctor the other day about my clogged up asshole.

Seemed like he really knew his shit.

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What do you call the girl with dandruff who missed her appointment at the hair salon?

Flakey

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At Polish man has an appointment at the oculist

The doctor shows him a sign:.


WYRZYKOWTACZ.


Doctor: "Could you read those letters?"


Polish patient: "Letters? I know that guy!"

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My local sperm bank doesn't take donations by appointment.

It's first cum first serve.

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When you have a PhD, every meeting you go to is...

A Doctor's appointment.

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Just got back from my psychiatrist appointment this morning.

After 10 minutes of chatting She told me I had a split personality and charged me $360.... I gave her $180 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.

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The Hunting accident

While out on a hunting expedition, a man is climbing over a fallen tree when his shotgun goes off, hitting him straight in the groin. Rushed to hospital , he awakes from the anaesthetic to find the surgeon has done a marvellous job repairing his damaged member. As he dresses to go home, the surgeon wanders over and hands him a business card. 'This is my brother's card. I'll make an


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Yesterady i paid a stranger to knock me unconscious shove a foreign object up my ass and film the whole thing

And to make matters worse i have a doctors appointment for a colonoscopy tomorrow

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I walked into my doctors appointment and he said pick a star sign. I said Capricorn

He said no you’ve got Cancer

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Why did the dolphin go to the dentist?

He had an appointment.

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A man goes to his doctors appointment

The doctor diagnosed him with obesity.

The man says, “I think the problem is the obesity runs in my family.”

The doctor says, “No. The problem is no one runs in your family.”

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A man is at the doctor

A man is at a follow up appointment at the doctor. The doctor walks in and says “I’m sorry, but I’ve got bad news and worse news.”

“Start with the worse news,” says the man.

“You’ve got cancer,” the doctor starts.

Caught off guard, the man replies “okay, what’s the bad news?”


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I have an appointment with a premature ejaculation support group tomorrow. I wasn't sure what I should wear.

They said just come in your pants

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I had to leave work early to day .. I had a appointment with a horse doctor.

How that horse became a doctor is beyond me

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What time is the dentist appointment?

Tooth hurty

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Catch me if you can

John is pretty overweight and struggles to loose weight. He finds an add that guarantees weight loss up to 50 pounds in 3 sessions. Sceptical at first he makes an appointment.
On his first appointment he is greeted and shown to a room where the treatment will proceed. He enters the room but immediately afterwards the door closes and gets locked from the outside.
Inside the room a reall


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I had to call the doctor to have my dick checked out after the tip turned ghost white one day...

When I called to make the appointment I was asked to describe my issue. I said Well my penis looks like the jokers except smaller and my pubes aren't green.

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Psychologist: You know, I have to clean my office after every appointment.

Random person: Why?

​

Psychologist: They spill so much tea, it makes a mess.

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"How long are you going to be at your erectile dysfunction appointment?" asked my wife.

I said, "Well, I won't be long."

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Best Doctors in Delhi to Book Doctors Appointment in Delhi with Spirals

[https://www.spiralshealth.com/delhi/doctors](https://www.spiralshealth.com/delhi/doctors)

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I stopped believing in astrology when my psychic cancelled my appointment.

She said it was for "unforseen circumstances"

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I have a Dentist appointment tomorrow ...

Its at 2.30 ...

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I missed an appointment with Death, so I came here.

I heard this is where I can find a reap post?

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At what time will you schedule an appointment with a dentist?

Tooth Thirty

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When you miss or cancel an appointment,

that is a disappointment.

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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came


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As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."

The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife.

"Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

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