Appendix

Jokes

Daaaamn, girl. You're like my appendix...

Because I dont understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me wanna take you out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An angry mother started bashing her neighbor's door in, the confused man opened the door and asked her what was wrong...

"Your son has been playing doctor with my daughter" she sobbed...

The man gave her an awkward smile "My little Timmy is becoming a man, I'm so sorry, you know boys and their hormones..."

The woman started screaming at him and hitting him with her bag "What do hormones have to do with your son removing my daughter's appendix with power to


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Researchers at Duke University say they have discovered the reason for the existence of the human appendix.

Still working on the reason for the existence of the Kardashians.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the book get stitches?

Because he had his appendix removed.


note: books can also be female.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A stand up comedian named Michael went to get his appendix removed. What did he call the night of his surgery?

Open Mike Night

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I had my appendix taken out when I was a kid. They said it was useless,

but based on my life since then, I'm guessing it controls motivation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What does your appendix, Republicans, and the slow lane have in common with Matthew McConaughey?

All right, all right, all right.

​

​

​

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man who is well-known for overindulging at elaborate dinners is feeling abdominal pain and goes to his doctor. He asks, "Doc, is it my appendix?"

The doctor replies "No, I think it is more like your table of contents."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When did a gut feeling save your life?

When my appendix burst.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man, who believes in avoiding doctors and hospitals at all cost, had to have emergency surgery for an inflamed appendix.

In pain, but still protesting the whole idea of an operation, he muttered,

"When God gave man an appendix, there must have been a reason for putting it there, am I right?"

"Oh there was," said the surgeon.

"God gave you that appendix so I could put my kids through university."


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I borrowed a book from the library the other day..

..it was all about surgery.

It wasn't until I got home that I realised someone had taken the appendix out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the student stop citing references?

Because he had his appendix removed.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man calls his doctor

"Doctor, my wife has appendicitis, it's emergency !"

"That's impossible, I personally removed your wife's appendix ! I have never seen someone having appendicitis twice !"

"And someone having a new wife, have you seen that ?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo girl, are you my appendix?

Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My thesis just came back with Appendix? scrawled on it.


Seems a little forward — but I thought: sure, why not?.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You remind me of my appendix...

You remind me of my appendix. I have no idea what you do, but I'd love to take you out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Surgical operations

When you get your tonsils removed: tonsillectomy
When you have your appendix removed: appendicectomy
When a woman has a sex change: addadictomy

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two books arm wrestle.

One ruptures is appendix, the other helps him rebind it.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the part of a book that's most likely to explode?

The appendix.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why was the prettiest nurse in the hospital called 'Appendix'?

Because only doctors were allowed to take her out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If Appendix removal is an Appendectomy and Getting your tonsils out is an Tonsillectomy...

.... is a sex change an Addadicktome?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the appendix say to the intestine?

What the fuck are you doing in a book?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Humorists of rjokes, i need help in creating a joke using A rhino, A tangerine, and a appendectomy(removal of appendix). A friend of mine entered a contest needs help.

Hey guys one of my bestfriends Justin V is in the air force he busts his ass more than anyone I personally know he is participating in a scavenger hunt with a badass prize that I know he deserves. he needs to create a joke using a following items A rhino, A tangerine, and a appendectomy(removal of appendix) message if you Guys got please my brother deserves this! - Randy.

You jokers


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Requesting a joke... rfunny let me down.

Hey so my friend's appendix burst the other day and im gonna see her today so im going to need a killer appendix joke to heal her emotionally (and possibly physically). So I asked /r/funny and it was a big let down. Do your best.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE