Proper finger placement on a keyboard...
... is the difference between a doctor hacking off your appendage.... and a doctor jacking off your appendage.
My sex life got way better after I started naming my appendage after a celebrity
Yes, Handjalina Jolie treats me really well!
Well people have been telling me "Pull it out, Pull it out man", but it hasn't helped my ache.
\*A guy is Walking down the street his hand on his check and moaning.\*
\*A guy passing by notices him an approaches him\*
Passer By: Hey man you ok, why are you moaning?
The guy: Well I've got this terrible toothache that doesn't seem to go away.
Passer By: Well you should get it fixed then.
The Guy: I've tried, what
What do amputee bears and regular bears have in common?
They both have four legs. (assuming the amputee is missing a different appendage)
What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
3 dicks are human appendages and a joke is not a human appendage.