A rich young man was involved in a very bad car crash

His Porsche was completely smashed. As he lay stunned at the side of the road, he moaned quietly to himself, "Oh, my car, my poor car."

A paramedic overhead his words and knelt down beside him, "Excuse me, sir," he said gently, "I think you should be more concerned about your arm."

The young man looked down to where his arm should have been a

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I would like to burn my alarm clock and sue the makers of it for all the years of mental trauma, anguish, and self-loathing it's morning beeps are the direct cause of.

But I'd probably be late to court.