Anal

Jokes

I have a bet among my 4 friends who's going to have anal sex before the others

I came in turd.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Who is Carrie Fisher's uptight cousin?

Anal Fissure

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A woman walks in on her husband performing anal sex on his secretary.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Calling In Sick

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she's not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What in the hell is anal glaucoma?" he inquires.

"Well, I just can't see my ass coming to work today.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did Mike Tyson say after he dropped the soap in jail?

I broke my ass. My ass is broken. Anal.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's brown and sticky?

Anal.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I ANAL but...

I anal butt

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you know that if you catch someone spying on you in the bathroom, lockers, etc, they are legally obligated to have anal sex with you if you ask?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The first time you have anal sex is sort of like your first car.

You don't really want it but your dad gives it to you anyway.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife and I tried using a ouija board.

She refuses to believe that i'm not intentionally moving the planchette. I cant help that any time she asks it a question it replies with "GIVE ANAL".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife said if this post gets 1000 upvotes she'll give up her anal virginity tonight!

Please don't. She's out of town on business until Tuesday.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girl said she'll do anal tonight if this post does well

So please god ignore this, she won't be home til next week.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

They say women only like assholes

Then why on a first date, whenever I bring up anal, I get slapped!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

For every upvote this gets, my girlfriend and I will try one thrust of anal sex

Please don't upvote

Her strap-on is huge

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do someone who plays poker on his ass and someone who has anal sex have in common?

They're both bum pokers!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

For every upvote this gets, my girlfriend and I will try one thrust of anal sex.

Please don't upvote. Her strap-on is huge.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Where lawyers come from...Joke

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

​

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

​

She said that she did.

​

He asked, "Does it hurt you?


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do people not like gay guys and anal pornstars?

Cause they're fucking assholes.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between oral and anal sex?

Oral makes your day. Anal makes your hole week.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To my surprise, my girlfriend had some anal bleaching done.

All I asked was for her to change her ringtone.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats do anal sex and spinach have in common?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between oral and anal sex?

Oral will make your whole day, but anal will make your hole weak.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A little boy asked his father

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend clogged the toilet and I had to unclog it

She was wrong, anal is definitely possible.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anal intercourse is for assholes

That's the whole Joke

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Pack my butthole, because its going to be a bumpy ride.

(I have anal warts.)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What does a bungee jumper any anyone into giving anal have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they are in deep shit.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats brown and sticky?

Anal

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

That was the best anal ever!

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So, umm... Anyone willing to put on a sexy fox outfit and do a little anal?

Ass-king furry friend.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I just heard that two of my friends got hurt while trying anal sex for the first time.

I guess it really rectum.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Somebody asked me what the names of my triplets were. I replied, well this one is Gonzo.

They interrupted with, "Oh you're a Muppets fan.' I said, "You should have waited before you made that assumption, this one is amatuer, and this one is anal."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Halloween masks can be fun but my friend is a bit anal about it.

Once he puts the guise on his face, he gaze.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call your spouse after anal sex?

A Sorbae

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call your spouse after anal sex?

A Sorbae

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So this is about birds and wasps.

What is a drug that stops anal sex?

Try no ass itol

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Getting anal can make your whole day and your hole weak

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a spaceship sent to Uranus

An anal probe!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the only method of contraceptive that prevents pregnancies 100 of the time? I'll give you a hint: it starts with A.

Anal

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why are anal and broccolis similar?

Even with butter babies don’t like it

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between regular and anal sex?

One makes your day and the other makes your hole weak.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anal sex is a lot like brussel sprouts...

If you're forced to have them as a kid you'll never enjoy it as an adult

-Daniel Tosh

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So I tried anal for the first time last night

It ended up being a really shitty experience

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anal bleaching

Sounds like something an asshole would do.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To be fair, molestation charges against the Catholic church should come as no surprise.

It's always been one of the more anal sects.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I tried Anal Sex today

Fucking shit

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife says if this post gets 150 upvotes we'll try anal

Please upvote her dick is huge

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anal sex is like spinach

If you're forced to have it as a kid, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you know australians have the most anal sex of any first world country?

We come from a land down under.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the difference between getting a BJ or getting anal?

A BJ makes your whole night, anal makes your hole weak.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE