Anaconda

Jokes

A man walks into a deli

A man walks into a deli with his pet snake. The cashier looks at him, shocked.

She says, “Wow! What kind if snake is that? It’s beautiful!” The man replies, with pride, “It’s an anaconda, straight from Bolivia!”

The cashier begins the mans order. “What can I get you?”, she asks.

“Actually, I’m orderi


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Snakes dont like bread

Except for sirmixalot's anaconda because ***it don't want none unless you got buns Hun***

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What's this joke mean about Nicki Minaj

(1) A man in Northern Ireland has been sentenced to four months in jail after he repeatedly got drunk and called emergency services while pretending to be rapper Nicki Minaj. Wow, nobody’s gotten in this much trouble for pretending to be Nicki Minaj since Iggy Azalea.


(2) Nicki Minaj is having a beef with the VMAs because she feels they snubbed the video for her song &q


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My girlfriend broke up with me because I wasnt a good adder

I’d rather be an anaconda anyway

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I once wrestled an Anaconda for 4 days straight...

Until I realized I was masturbating.

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A man walks into a convent with his snake...

A nun greets him and they sit down to eat.
Another nun comes in with 2 loaves of bread and the snake immediately bites her in the neck and sucks out all her blood.
The first nun, shocked, shouts out : “Why would your snake do that to her ?!”
He replies : “My anaconda don’t want nun, unless you’ve got buns, hun”


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I once wrestled with an anaconda for four hours..

then I realized that I was masturbating

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My pet snake will only eat rabbits.

You might say my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.

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Sir Scats-a-Lot

My anaconda don't want none unless you got runs, hun.

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I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days...

And then I realised I was masturbating

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I once wrestled an Anaconda for 4 days

Then realised I was masturbating.

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I once wrestled an anaconda for 3 days...

Then realized I was masturbating.

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Did you hear that Sir Mix-A-Lot's pet snake left his girlfriend because she went low-carb?

His anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.

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So the guy who was supposed to get eaten by an anaconda ...

... didn't actually get eaten by an anaconda. When he first made contact with the anaconda, it was afraid and tried to escape.

I guess you would call that a reptile dysfunction.

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Anaconda Funny Joke

I was watching anaconda on my laptop
then my parents walked in....
I just switched to porn it was easyier to explain

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My anaconda

Don't
Want
None
Unless you wear a special suit to withstand the constrictive pressure and gastrointestinal acids

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My Anaconda Don't Want None

Unless You Read The Koran.

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On a whim, I bought a snake yesterday at the local pet store...

Last night, I attempted to feed it a freshly grilled hamburger.
Just the patty, no bread.
The thing is, he wouldn't eat it.
As it turns out,
my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, Hun.

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MY ANACONDA DON'T

MY ANACONDA DON'T

MY ANACONDA DON'T judge women based on specific aspects of their body.

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Nicki Manaj - Anaconda Parody

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I love animals, but I'm thinking of getting rid of my pet anaconda. It keeps taking horse sized dumps.

Also, all my horses have gone missing.

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