What did the fisherman tell his amorous wife?
Not tonight, honey, I've got a haddock.
A guy and his girl go out on a date, then he drives to a scenic point, parks the car and tries to get amorous. The girl stops him with a "Why don't we just talk..."
The guy counters. "If I wanted to talk, I'd be out with my best friend".
The girl says "If I wanted to make out, *I'd* be out with your best friend".
A woman went to see Paul Daniels (British magician) and asked for a sex device that will satisfy her. So he gave her a flying dick.
To get it to work you just say "flying dick my..." Followed by where u want it to go.
So on a lonely Sunday evening the lady was getting amorous with her new toy. When her husband walks into the house and smells the sex in the air
What happened to the over amorous clam?
It pulled a mussel.