Allot

Jokes

I was asked to say a few words at a funeral so I said "Allocate, assign, apportion" :

The grieving widow came up to me after and said "Thanks, your words all meant allot to me"

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My secretary thinks he is a marketing genius. He said that if I allot a section to Trumps Tweets in my jokebook, I will thank him later. So I turned to him and said:

Thanks allot now

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Allot of girls asked me to go out today...

I was in the womens toilet.

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I just want to thank that guy who taught me another word for "distribute"...

It means allot.

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I have allot of hidden talents.

But i don't know what they are because they're fucking hiding.

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How to get the hottest women?

Get the highest paying job that makes allot of money or have allot of money.

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Why do the parents of ltinsert shitty towngt always drink allot when they go out for a partyBBQ?

So when they come home their children cant smell they ate meat.

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What do you say to a Hebrew baby?

"Look at Jew! Aren't Jew so cute!"

Punchline best if done in that voice that allot of people do around baby's and animals.

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