Alien

Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting an Englishman?

Alien versus Predator

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What do you call an alien with 3 balls

An extra-testicular being.
Your welcome

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So a old man and an alien goes into a nightclub

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What do you call an alien in Walmart?

A Walmartian

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What do you call an alien with only one eye?

What do you call an alien with only one eye?
Alen

(My nephew helped me make this joke up many years ago,
we know the spelling is wrong.)

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An alien landed near an opera house

Walked inside and spoke to the concierge.

"Take me to your lieder"

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What do you call a baby alien?

Baby Mark do do do do do do do

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What did the alien paramedic say?

Take me to your bleeder.

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Does my alien girlfriend from area 51 have a Penis?

Something inside me says yes

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What did the weeb say, when he saw an alien spaceship fly across the sky?

"Look! A UWO!"

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What movie best describes the Trump Administration?

Alien vs. Predator.

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Whats the difference between E.T. and an illegal alien?

E.T. Learned English and wanted to go home.

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The funniest thing about the whole Area 51 attack

Is that someone somewhere had to explain to an alien why we think they're in Area 51.

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Aliens!!

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The young alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien


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An alien broke out from Area 51 and started devouring all the homeless people nearby.

One could say it has poor taste.

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A Mexican illegally crossed the border into the US and gets into a fight with a sex offender

It's Alien vs Predator

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If a mexican illegally crossed the border into the US and gets into a fight with a sex offender

Alien vs Predator

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We should send sex offenders to storm Area 51

Alien Vs Predator

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What did the alien say to the coke bottle?

Take me to your liter

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A man dressed up as an alien at the Area 51 Raid.

The FBI showed up and said,
"GET BACK IN YOUR CHAMBER!"

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Today I found an alien in my freezer.

When I asked him what he was doing in there, he said "I cum in peas".

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An alien, a lawyer, a priest, a Russian, and a dog all walk into a bar...

...and the bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

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We stormed Area 51 and found an alien

He’s name is Juan, they found him at the border.

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What do you call a Hispanic and a Priest fighting?

Alien vs. Predator

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What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?

Alien versus Redditor.

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What do you call it when a Mexican and a priest are fighting?

Alien vs predator

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A Mexican got into a fistfight with a priest the other day.

Talk about alien vs predator!

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I saw a little Mexican kid get dragged into a white van

Talk about Alien Vs Predator

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Why did Predator call the police on Alien after he came out of the closet?

Because he said “I’m asexual Predator!”

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An alien civilization has spotted us.

Now they live in constant fear.

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A joke from my wife's childhood

A man looks up the sky, and sees an alien space ship approaching. The spaceship landed and the alien stepped out of the ship.

The man approaches the alien to say hello.

The alien pokes the man with its finger on the mans shoulder.

The man ask the alien, "hey always wondered how alien recreate?"

The alien then pokes the man again on the


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I was just abducted by an alien spaceship

And I must say I was deeply DEEPLY disappointed!

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An alien walked into a bar...

...and sat down next to a burly-looking construction worker. He ordered a tequila, then turned to the construction worker, poked him in the arm and said, ''Mommy!''

The man shuddered and said, ''Man, get off me!''

But the alien just looked at him, poked him again, and said, ''Mommy!''

The man got


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I believed an advanced alien civilisation had existed..

...just not on earth

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Americans are worried about illegal aliens coming from down south, when they should really be worrying about a different kind of alien coming from above

That's rights, it's those fucking Canadians

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I wasnt really a fan of this alien parasite...

But it’s starting to grow on me

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What happens when an alien gets hurt?

It gets a transplanet.

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What do you call it when an immigrant walks into a Catholic Church?

Alien vs Predator (this is my son’s joke)

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Have you seen the movie where the Jamaican and a Priest fist fight in New York?

It was Alien vs Predator.

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Two aliens are talking to each other in space.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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Four Aliens

The are four aliens passing by our solar system. The don’t know a word of English. Their spaceship malfunctions and they manage to eject the escape pods before they crash land on Earth. Each alien lands in a different spot on the planet. They each decide they might as well try to learn some English while they are stranded. They disguise themselves as humans, and begin their journey.


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What do you call a movie about an illegal immigrant fighting a priest?

Alien VS Predator

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What happens to an alien when it falls in a puddle?

It gets wet.

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What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pastor?

Alien vs. Predator

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What do you call a Mexican and a priest?

Alien vs Predator

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In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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You guys hear theyre making a Predator vs Alien 3 sequel?

It’s just 2 hours of a Cardinal chasing around 3 immigrant children.

I’m not sure if I like the new direction the series is going. Too many face huggers.

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What's it called when an illegal immigrant fights a pedophile?

Alien Vs Predator

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5 aliens came to Earth

5 aliens come to Earth and since they didn't know English, they tried to learn it.

The first alien went to a school and learned "Me, Me Me!"

The second alien went to a butcher shop and learned "with knives and sharp things.."

The third alien went to a movie theatre and learned "I'm Batman"

The fourth alien


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An alien wins the Lottery

Alien says "Alien Wife! Alien Wife! I've won the lottery - pack your things!"
Aliens Wife says "Oh my god! What should I pack? Alien Summer or Alien Winter clothes?"
Alien says "Don't care - just Alien FUCK OFF!"

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