Agree

Jokes

Why can't anarchist groups ever agree on any measures?

Cause they hate rulers.

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A lot of people think that California residents don't have an accent

Idono if imunna agree withat.

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God helps those who help themselves.

I agree with God, Fuck Depressed People.

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Eight out of ten experts agree that...

... the other two are idiots who should stop being called experts

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We should ban redditors who beg for upvotes.

Upvote if you agree. Please.

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My friends always said its not gay if its a threeway...

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Im renaming my kids Sony and Disney

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"There are some horribly deceitful people in this world!" yelled a homeless man. I could only agree with him, so I put my hand into my pocket.

Then I emptied my brother's wallet and gave him some change.

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I hate karma whores

Like if you agree

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Reddit is supposed to be a place of open and honest discussion where every opinion counts.

If you don't agree, stay out of the comment section.

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What do both vegans amp lesbians seem to agree upon?

Sausages aren't fun.

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Two Quarks

There's these two quarks sitting netx ot each other, they never can agree on anything. One Quark looks at the other and says, "Why are you always down?". The second Quark looks at the first, "It's because you're always up!"

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My four-year-old said to me...

"I agree with all your political views. Feel validated. Bitch."

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Two priests are walking down the street when a man approaches them, "I'm Jesus Christ," says the man

Priest one: "I don't believe you're our Lord and Savior"

The man turns to the second priest and tells him, "I'm Jesus Christ."

Priest two: "I agree with him, you're not Jesus."

Man: "Well if you walk a couple blocks with me, I can prove that I am Jesus Christ."

The agree to follow him an


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No matter your age, race, religion, sexuality or gender, we can all agree on one thing

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I completely agree with Brexit, I don't care what you guys say,

Europe Union doesn't matter

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Controlling probability is the best super power

And I think there's a big chance that you'll agree

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What is the one thing that professional poker players amp plumbers can agree on?

A royal flush is better than a full house.

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My girlfriend left me because she said I never agree with her

That is such a lie!

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They say life is too short

and I agree. We should add more letters

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A pair of newlyweds are having marriage problems.

They decide to meet with the Rabbi in order to prevent the termination of their very short relationship. The Rabbi asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"

The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing."

"Seven weeks,


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The fact that humanity cannot agree on a universal plug and wall socket is enough evidence to show that we will always be at odds with each other

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I think the LGBTQ should just be called skittles

Anyone agree?

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Two gymnasts decided to go into business

together and because one liked liquor and the other beer and wine, they decided they would open two pubs one directly across the street from the other. Unfortunately they had a falling out and went out of business due to poor marketing. They never could agree on a name for the parallel bars.

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First and Youngest

A hot girl walks up to you and says she was the first and youngest to be raped by her uncle. Then her hot sister walks up and says the same thing. They get it an argument over who was the first and youngest. They both say they’ll have sex with if you take their side. Which one do you agree with?
The answer is to put your arms around both of them and say “ladies you obviously both


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My wife said that if this post reaches more than 1000 upvotes she will agree to anal

with her boyfriend

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A four-year-old child said to me today...

"I agree with all your political opinions. Tell everyone. Bitch."

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My four-year old child said to me today...

"I agree with all your political opinions. Tell everyone. Bitch."

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I am sick of people who beg for upvotes

Upvote if you agree

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A Christian an Islam a Hindu , Jew and Buddhist all walk into a bar.

They all agree 🙏

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Roosevelt, Stalin, Mussolini, and Hitler are on a plane.

They want to break the tension amongst the countries, so they decide to go on a retreat to go skydiving. While they're headed to the drop off location, they each start to boast that their country is better.

"My country has the fastest moving army," claims Hitler. "No one can beat it."

"Except when they face the wrath of the Motherland,"


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What did one cannibal say to the other?

"I don't feel so well. I must have eaten someone who didn't agree with me."

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Apparently many cannibals agree that people that have been in multiple shipwrecks taste better.

You could say that they prefer seasoned survivors.

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Every drug dealer I know claims to have the best weed.

And I tend to agree.

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When a woman doesn't agree with compliments

And thinks she looks like shit...
Maybe it's a mirror problem


boobs
\------- <--- mirror
poops

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What's the one thing atheists and believers can agree on?

That most religion is nonsense

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Some people think theres a problem with anti Semitism at the moment...

I don’t agree with that...

I’m all about solutions.

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5 out of 6 scientists agree

Russian roulette is completely safe

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Have been putting 3.14 on pieces of jewellery.

Pioneering work, I think you'll agree.

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People can agree that segregation is morally wrong.

So why do the individual continents get to do it?

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3 Guys are sat together

The first, Steve, turns to his mates and says
"Guys, I think I might have the smallest head in the world"

The others agree, and the second guy, John, says
"You know what, I think I might have the smallest arm"

Again, they all agree. So the third guy, Pete, says
"Fellas, I'm pretty sure I've got the world's smalle


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My wife wouldnt agree to installing a mirror on our bedroom ceiling!

She can’t stand to see me enjoy myself!

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Three men agree to a contest.

The one to spit the biggest loogie out onto a board gets 100 bucks.

The first guy steps up to the board and hacks up a loogie the size of a quarter.

The second guy was like walks up to the board and spits up a loogie the size of a half dollar.

The third guy walks up to the board, sucks up both loogies,spits it onto the board, then walks away with a hundred do


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There are two kinds of people in this world...

Do you agree?

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Politically Incorrect Stereotype Joke

Disclaimer: I have nothing against any of the groups in this joke, I simply find it humorous.

An italian, a jew, and a gay guy die and go to heaven.

God looks at all of them and says, "Ok, I'll give you all one more chance at life, but you have to agree to my conditions."

He looks at the italian and says, "you must give up all italian foo


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The people begging for upvotes should be banned from this sub...

Upvote, if you agree...

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I Hate when people do this

1. When people make list
2.When people beg for likes
9.When people can’t count
4. When people bad grammar
5.When people get r/whoosh
6.When people like there own post

Like if you agree

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12:00 is the best time on a clock

Hands up if you agree.

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My family couldn't agree on whether to get grandpa buried or cremated...

...so in the end we just let him live.

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Whats the only way to get American Democrats and Republicans to agree on something?

Elect a third party candidate for president. They will agree to disagree with everything he or she does.

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