Aggressive

Jokes

"My boyfriend was slept with by you!" I heard one girl shout at another.

"You're reputation will be ruined by this! YOU'RE GONNA BE KILLED BY ME!!"

"Why is she talking like that?" I asked my friend.

"Oh, don't mind her," he said. "She's just really passive aggressive."

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My neighbors got pretty aggressive when I played 'Zombie' at full volume last night.

I thought silence causes violence.

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Iran:White house you are mentally retarded

Trump:”Iran is taking aggressive behaviour”
Iran:”so you speak English?”

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I identify as a aggressive letter

I guess I'm an alpha mail.

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They say too much porn can make you aggressive and affect your iQ

What a shitload of bullshit, I don’t even have that shitty Apple product.

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Are bi-polar bears just polar bears who go both ways, or are they regular bears who are passive aggressive?

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Hippos are one of the most aggressive animals in all of Africa. What do you call it when a hippo kills something in one bite?

A hippo-crit.

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People say I'm too aggressive and sexually suggestive.

Fuck those assholes.

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What do you call an aggressive vegetable?

Bit-ter

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We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom

in fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

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Chicken of the Sea

Two dolphins are swimming towards each other. Neither one wants to get out of the way.

The more aggressive one says, "Oh, you wanna play tuna?"

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Whos more aggressive?

A 12 year old on Sim City, or JK Rowling to the Wizard World

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Knock knock

“Who’s there?”

“Passive-aggressive girlfriend.”

“Passive-aggressive girlfriend who?”

“IF YOU DONT KNOW IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!!!”


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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways, I don’t even have one!!!!!!!

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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways

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If Flow from Progressive got together with Mayhem from Allstate, theyd sell Aggressive Prostate insurance.

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A very aggressive man goes to McDonald's

\- I would like to have a Strawberry Milkshake.

\- Large or small?

\-STRAWBERRY BITCH !!!

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The lonely fish

I brought a pet fish (A majestic and devilsh red petta fish) to my room. He looks so attractive when he opens his gills widely and moves expeditiously with his large beautiful fins. We named him as RED. After some days I felt he is so lonely, so I planned to bring a pair for him. I bought a pretty one with silver blue in color. We named it as SPARKLES and kept it near RED. Unexpectedly RED become


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What do you call an aggressive reptile that likes to start shit with people on Instagram?

An instigator.

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Two monks spar together...

There were once two monks: Po and Lee. Both decided to spar each other in a test of their skills, so they head to a small room and pick up two wooden blades.

Po strikes forward, only to be parried and caught off guard by a return attack. Frustrated, he repeats the previous move – only for the same thing to happen.

They tensely follow each other's movements. Eac


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Two monks spar together...

There were once two monks: Po and Lee. Both decided to spar each other in a test of their skills, so they head to a small room and pick up two wooden blades.

Po strikes forward, only to be parried and caught off guard by a return attack. Frustrated, he repeats the previous move – only for the same thing to happen.

They tensely follow each other's movements. Eac


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I hear Chinese tourists are aggressive and competitive.

They must have Taipei personalities.

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I hate it when people say Im passive aggressive.

I’m not passive aggressive, unlike *some* people.

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What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

Get outta my face!

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What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

Get out of my face!

Credit: I heard this on RTE Irish radio.

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Minecraft is Racist

Minecraft has taught me not to look tall black guys in the eye or they get aggressive. They're faster and stronger than you and they randomly steal things. However, you can escape by running to water--they can't swim.

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I went to the vet and said,

I'm having some problems with my new Pit Bull Terrier. I further explained to him that he is acting very stupid, aggressive and is attacking anyone for no good reason.

The vet replied, "Muzzle Him?"

"No," I said "I think he's an atheist."

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Yoga studios are kinda aggressive.

When I go to leave they always tell me "Nah must stay!"

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Did you hear DMX started an information technology company? It has a pretty aggressive slogan...

X gonna give IT to ya!

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I visited my sister in the Yukon and the squirrels were really aggressive.

They were territorial

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Did you hear about that aggressive guy from Taiwan?

He was a real Taipei Personality.

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What state has the biggest rate of aggressive public beggars?

Florida

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A smartly dressed man

in a suit walks into a bar and asks for a pint and a nip. He downs the pint in one then takes the nip and pours it into his top pocket, then asks for the same again. Downs the pint in one again and, again, pours the nip into his top pocket.

After ten pints and ten nips in the pocket the fella’s hammered and the barman asks him to leave. So the man starts getting aggressive, roll


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Asthmatic people are so aggressive

This girl was punching and kicking me and kept on gasping and making noises.

All I really did was take her inhaler.

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WHAT DO WE WANT? PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

​

​

​

Well, we're sure you're really busy with all of your important things.

So, we'll just have to wait, until you feel that we've waited long enough, and maybe then, you'll be able to find some time for others.

It's fine.


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The KKK has decided that a 'cross burning' sounds to aggressive in this day and age

They've rebranded it to a t party

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A man walks into a bar

A guy on vacation in Spain walks into a bar and notices a large display on the wall. Hanging down are what look like rows of tennis balls on string. The guy asks the bartender about the display, and the bartender says proudly "The owners of this bar come from a long line of bullfighters. These are trophies from every bullfight in their family. The larger the testicles, the stronger and more a


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Whats an aggressive soccer mom?

Tupperwarior.

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Africanized bees are more aggressive than regular bees.

Just like Africanized humans.

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I'm not passive aggressive,

Unlike *some* people.

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Why did REO Speedwagon have to get rid of their aggressive pet cat?

They couldn't fight this feline anymore.

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When I was younger my parents beat the shit out of me.

Oh don’t worry, it wasn’t abuse, just aggressive potty training.

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You're at the mall when a security guard comes up to you.

He (falsely) suspects you of attempted shoplifting.

You try to explain to him that you're not, but he thinks you're getting aggressive and trying to resist arrest.

He pulls out his taser.

What happens next may shock you...

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I've been struggling with an aggressive partner, who threw a slice of bread at me and it just missed my head.

"r/whooosh"

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Hey man, congratulations on that aggressive knuckle cancer.

(Fist bump)

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My mother is so passive aggressive.

She says things to me like, “You can’t just seem to do anything right, and that’s what I really love about you.“

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What do you call an aggressive knife and fork?

Cutlairy.

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An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup

An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. Doctor says, “Okay I’ve got bad news and really bad news.” Old man: “Well, okay. what’s the really bad news?” “You’ve got cancer. It’s extremely aggressive and I’m giving you two weeks to live.” “Oh god....what’s the bad news?” “You’ve got Alzheimer’s d


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Whats the most aggressive fast food business right now?

its nacho business

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A cheerleader wants to warn her friend a bee is flying straight towards her so what does she yell?

BEE, AGGRESSIVE, BEE BEE AGGRESSIVE!

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