Affect

Jokes

A crashing economy can affect your sex life drastically.


I am one of the victims ...

My Neighbour's husband lost his job & is always at home now !

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Joseph Merrick, also known as the elephant man was often harrassed due to his rare disorder however claimed the insults didn't affect him.

He had pretty thick skin.

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They say too much porn can make you aggressive and affect your iQ

What a shitload of bullshit, I don’t even have that shitty Apple product.

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You'd think that being a fantastic redditor would have an affect on someone's ego.

Not the case with me, though.

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Did you know that Buddhists almost never use re-usable cutlery ?

Apparently, having a throwaway doesn't affect your karma.

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It was raining outside. There was this guy in my train wearing a suit. He kept leaving the train and lightning keep hitting him but it didn't affect him.

I later realized he was a conductor.

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Why did earth day not affect rjokes?

Because everything is 100% recycled anyway.

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My doctor told me my STD can even affect my iQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of shit. That stupid idiot does not know I drive a Civic and I don’t have that crappy Apple product anyways.

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Why did Earth Day not affect rjokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

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Why did earth day not affect rjokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

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A young billionaire once met Cardi B at an awards function

The meeting had such a good affect on him that the next day, he donated almost his entire wealth to fund research about AIDS and it's cures.

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They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I don’t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

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They say watching porn might affect my IQ.

Ha, screw it, I don’t even have that Apple product.

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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways, I don’t even have one!!!!!!!

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Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways

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Does rigor mortis affect the penis? Asking for a friend...

He got hit by a bus but he’s still quite handsome.

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A new scientific study has found that hereditary factors affect fertility

If your parents didn't have any children, you won't either.

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My uncle lived a full life with blood type O-positive..

It didn't affect him much, except for his countless spelling errors.

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Bad news: I got caught going 28 mph in a school zone.

Good news: statutory rape won’t affect my license points.

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My friend showed me a joke that really effected me because it used words incorrectly.

It ruined the jokes affect.

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My grades are like politics.

I don't care about them, but they affect my life in a very annoying way.

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Homosexuality is like an illness

If it doesn't affect me negatively, It doesn't bother me.

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As the doctor went through Karen's notes he said

"The surgery has risks. You will almost certainly regain the sight in your eyes but there is a chance it will affect your libido."

Karen inquired, "How come?"

Doc said, "Well ... your husband is very ugly."

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Watching the global financial crisis unfold was like watching my father being molested by a clown.

I knew it was going to affect me, I just wasn't entirely sure how.

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Watching the gobal financial crisis unfold was like watching my father being molested by a clown.

I knew it was going to affect me, I just wasn't entirely sure how.

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Fuck all of you

You literally suck. All of you. Go affect change in real life. This site isn’t how you do that.

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My therapist warned me that my chronic procrastination will negatively affect my life, but Im not too worried.

I’ll look up what procrastination means later.

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My girlfriend is 21 and Im 40, and theres a lot of people that are uncomfortable with the age difference.

But we’ve been together for 10 years and we have never let it affect our relationship.

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You know what the most infuriating thing about narcissists is?

They never think about how their actions affect *me*!

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Exchanges recorded verbatim by court reporters and published in the book, "Disorder in the American Courts".

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

WITNESS: How would I know?

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person die


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My wife tells me having a small penis shouldnt affect our relationship.

I still wish she didn’t have one.

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Research says that the music you hear can affect your personality.

So that's why I like solo music.

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Long Trying to find a date had been really difficult for me recently

I’d been having some mental health issues lately and so my doctor prescribed me with some pills to help treat them. Unfortunately they had the unavoidable side affect of making me hallucinate.

My daily routine didn’t change that much, but it did have a huge affect on my dating game. Every date I went on would be cut short by hallucinations of monsters and demons right beh


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A newly wed couple go on a honeymoon

The husband notices that his wife always has a small pouch with her. He asks her about it. She refused to disclose its contents and pleads him to never check it.

Curious, once when the wife is taking a shower, the man checks the pouch, it has 5 beans and 100$. He can't resist and confronts her. She says she will tell him everything if he promises it won't affect their marri


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My Thai girlfriend assured me that a small penis shouldn't affect a loving relationship.

I still wish she didn't have one.

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I visited a cafe and ordered eggs for breakfast this morning.

The woman behind the counter asked, "How would you like your eggs cooked." "Does it affect the price?" I said. "No, not at all." she replied. "In that case I'd like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please."

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Stan Lee stopped by my rooftop apartment to check out my comic collection. Things were fine until he saw my pet parrots he suddenly started blubbering! I pointed out there were parrots in the foyer as well, amp they didn't affect him. For some reason, only my parrots upset him. Now I'm wondering...

...why do birds sadden Lee up here?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

But drone strikes affect your education.

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Why did Earth Day not affect rjokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

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My girlfriend says having a small dick shouldn't affect our relationship.

I dunno.. I would still prefer she didn't have one

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My doctor told me I have ADHD.


He said that ADHD is a very serious condition and can affect many .. blah blah blah. I did not listen to the rest.

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My fear of palindromes is really starting to affect my life, so I asked the doctor if he could prescribe me anything.

The bastard gave me Xanax.

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Blind people of Reddit, how does being blind affect...

[deleted]

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I keep throwing my car tyres into the ocean. I don't know if it has a negative affect on the environment...

[deleted]

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Ajit Pai made inquiries about how a government shutdown could affect him

but Verizon assures him he'll still get paid

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Ajit Pai made inquiries concerning how a government shutdown might affect him

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The BLM movement, dissolved to it's most fundamental components, becomes nothing more than a pile of feces ...

... assured the gastroenterologist to his concerned patient, who heard a rumor that bacon lettuce and mozzarella sandwiches cannot be properly digested and will adversely affect your colon.

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I've recently had severe bowel incontinence, so I decided to consult my doctor before starting up a daily powerwalking routine...

When I asked how my condition will affect my walks, my doctor responded, "Nothing severe, but you never know when the walks will turn into the runs."

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Along with antimatter and dark matter, a new type of matter was discovered

Called doesn't matter, which has absolutely no affect on the universe whatsoever

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My jokes never have any affect with my friends...

[deleted]

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