Life was so easy before the advent of dishwasher

Because no one had to do the tedious work of putting the plates back.

Did you hear about the Advent calendar that passed away?

Its days were numbered.

Just bought a Jehovah Witness themed advent calendar,

behind every door someone tells you to fuck off

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

They're days are numbered

I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender this year....

I didn't open any of the doors.

Did you hear about the guy that stole an advent calendar?

He got 25 days.

A man stole an advent calendar

He got 25 days.

Advent calendar

I just got my new jehovas witness Advent calendar, everytime I open a door it says "fuck off, not today!"

Here in Germany we give our Advent candles names.

I call mine David, Aharon, Elijah and Shmuel.

I gave each candle on our Advent wreath a name.

David, Aharon, Elijah and Shmuel.

I got a political advent calendar.

It's like a normal advent calendar, but there's a dick in number 10.

Advent calendar

My Jimmy Savile advent calendar is shit. The flaps only open from 1-16

Came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone...

What sort of sick fuck does that to someone's advent calendar?!

Why didnt people like the new Apple Mac themed advent calendars?

They didn’t have any Windows

"When one door shuts, another one opens," said my dad.

That was the dumbest advent calendar he ever bought me.

It has been said that a million monkeys hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type complete works of William Shakespeare.....

With the advent of internet, now we know that is not true!

Came with our Christmas cracker

Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar?


A: He got 25 days.

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

I got a political advent calendar.

[deleted]

Came home to find all the doors and windows open, and everything gone.

What kind of sick person would do that to an Advent calendar?

Xmas Joke Help

Hi All,

So December 1st is upon us (in Australia at least) and that means that it is time for me to begin my annual tradition of posting daily status updates on facebook with terrible xmas jokes until xmas. An advent calendar of xmas cracker jokes if you will.

Anyway this is my third or fourth year doing it (I can't really remember) and the well has run kind of dry.

---

On a cold, late December day...

... the wall calendar looked across the room at the advent calendar and said:

"It looks like our days are numbered, pal".

Some Christmas jokes!

**What is the best Christmas present in the world?**

A broken drum – you just can’t beat it

**What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?**

It's Christmas, Eve!

**What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?**

Frostbite!

**Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?**

---

Advent calendars

Their days are numbered.

Advent calendars

Their days are numbered...

Sales of Advent calendars down by 80 this year

It looks like their days are numbered

Advent Calendars

Their days are numbered.

What is the best gift for a jehovah's witness?

an advent calender all those doors so many possibiltes.

I moved into an advent calendar today...

Its very cold, all the windows are open.

I like my women how I like my advent calendar.

I like my women how I like my advent calendar.
Against my wall, flaps open, ready to be eaten.

I got a advent calendar from a jehovah witness.

Behind every door it says "FUCK OFF"

An advent calendar for jehova's witnesses

Behind each door, someone tells you to fuck off.

Just bought a Jehovah Witness Advent calendar...

Every time you open a door, a voice tells you to fuck off.