Adorable

Jokes

My son has adorable little baby hands

It was all over the news, apparently he took them from an open casket funeral

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Hey girl, that's a nice ass you got there"

"Aren't donkeys such adorable animals?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My son has adorable little baby hands

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the most adorable thing about Chernobyl?

A cute radiation poisoning

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an adorable Mennonite?

Awwwmish

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An adorable old woman visits the doctor.

“Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least ten times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because it doesn’t smell and is silent.”

The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to s


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hi! My name is Gertrude, says the lady to the man next to her on the airplane.

“It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little pumpkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse. Yes


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a cation?

Pawsitively adorable

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an angle which is adorable?

Acute angle

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife : how am i looking

Dad : ABCDEFGHIJK
WIFE : What do you mean?
Dad : Adorable, bomb, cute, delightful, erotic, Fab, glamorous and hot
Wife : oh my!!! Thanks ,and IJK?
DAD : I am Just Kidding.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: **"I'm just kidding!"**


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I left a present for my crush today, and she had me arrested!

When her cat does it, it's adorable, but apparently it's "creepy" when I leave a dead bird on her doorstep.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christ-ler

I just invented this joke, felt very adorable about myself and wanted to share.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My Pet goat Ralfie just got taken away from me. He was adorable, fluffy and moreover my best friend.

I will forever miss you my g.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A very ugly women goes shopping with her kids.

A man sees the women with her kids a says
He: "You got some adorable twins there!"
She: "Are you stupid? They aren't twins. One is 7 years old and the other is 2 years old"
He: "I mean yeah but I just couldn't imagine how anyone would fuck you twice!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My nephew just asked me, "Is wind made from birds flapping their wings?" He's so adorable, isn't he?

WRONG! He's 24 and addicted to heroin.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A rich man has a talk

"I have to thank everybody who has assisted me to become a millionaire. In particular, I have to say thanks to my adorable wife" - says the rich man.

But somebody from the crowd shouts:

"Why? You were a billionaire before? "

​

​

sry for crappy english


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a cow with no legs?

A hamburger.

(Told to me by a 4 year old at a school play. Too adorable not to share.)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I AM JUST KIDDING

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Dad, theres a monster under my bed! A kid cries.

The dad looks under, frowns, and pulls up a Kirby plush.

“Son, this is an adorable orb from space.”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife asks her husband, how would you describe me?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, and Hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm Just Kidding”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL that comparative brain scans of elephants reveal that they find humans to be "adorable".

I mean, your mom told me I was sexy, but I didn't realize that it was a biological reaction.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a very strong, yet adorable dog?

A puggernaut.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

We finally get a robot onto an alien planet and the first thing we do is roll over an adorable little fuzzball. Its true.

Curiosity killed the cat.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

We get a rovot on the surface of an alien planet and the first thing we do is roll over an adorable fuzz ball. Its True.

Curiosity killed the cat.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable."

I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."

Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A seal in french is a Phoque so whoever came up with the word Phoque probably looked at the seal and said

It’s Phoque-ing adorable

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife is....

Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife:"How would you describe me?"

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 
Wife: "What does that mean?" 
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife asked me to describe her. I said you're abcdefghijk

She asked: What does that mean?

I said: Adorable, beautifull, cute, delightfull, elegant, foxy, gorgeous, hot.

She asked: Oh that's so nice, what is ijk?

I said: I'm just kidding

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Water birds are pretty adorable

One might even say they're coot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I love my neighbor's asian food

She pays me to walk him, and he's so fluffy and adorable

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"I'm just kidding!"

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife and Husband

Wife: “How would you describe me?”

Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”

Wife: “What does that mean?”

Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

Husband: “I’m just kidding!”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Can a window fly?

I dunno, is adorable to?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is yellow, adorable, and causes birth defects?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's yellow, adorable, and shrinks babies' brains?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife How would you describe me Husband

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"ABCDEFGHIJK."


Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Offensive humor ...

If you write a joke about bunnies and carrots, it's adorable. If you write the same joke about (insert ethnic group) and (insert ethnic food), it's offensive. You didn't create these associations (and or stereotypes), but you are playing off of them.
Discuss.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hey, that's an adorable robot you have there, what's it's name?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Husband and wife describe me

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm just kidding!

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife and Husband

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Husband and Wife

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How would you describe me

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Dad And Mom Complements

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE