Wherever you go, machines have become an integral part of everyday life, even though it's very hard to repair them when they break down...
...which is why technically-adept people are the best kind of adept people.
Its not that pachyderms have great memories. Theyre just very adept at forgetting only that which is irrelephant.
I decided not to vaccinate my daughter...
I let the nurse do it instead; she's much more adept with a syringe.
An adept but kinda dirty metaphor for life
life is like being a battery: sometimes you get the best of the best like fast cars or a yacht, sometimes you get the bare necessities like a flash light or radio and sometimes got the shit end of the stick being the vibrating butt plug.
Ducks in Heaven
Three guys are in a car accident and they all die. The first thing they notice when they get to heaven is that every square inch of the place is covered with ducks! St. Peter comes along and says, "Welcome to heaven! The stories you've heard are true, but there is one rule that we very strictly enforce: do NOT step on a duck. Should you ever step on a duck, the ugliest woman you could ev