Addition

Jokes

Mandatory Attendance

A drunkard walking on the street, is approached by the police at 3:00 AM.


The policeman asks: "Where are you going at this hour?"


The drunkard answers:
"I am going to attend a conference on alcohol abuse and the lethal effects on the body, the bad example it creates on children, the harmful consequences for the family, The problem it c


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A blind friend of mine was telling me about a relationship he had with an asian girl...

He started dating a girl from China who was an outspoken communist.

They had been dating for 6 months, but then she started to become extremely obsessed with her political opinions, to the point where he wasn’t able to have any other meaningful conversations with her. In addition, he realized that she started becoming more controlling, manipulative, and more and more insensitiv


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wouldn't it be cool if death row inmates got time with dogs or some nice animals in addition to a last meal?

No, they'd probably kill them.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is Steph Curry so good at addition?

Because he knows how to curry the numbers

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two nurses are working at a children's hospital.

While they are checking on their patients, out of nowhere a man wearing doctor's clothing and sporting long hair and a beard shuffles into the ward. Without saying anything to the nurses, he moves around the room, healing all the kids with a few words and hand gestures. He then just as quickly leaves. As he passes by the nurses, they notice that in addition to scrubs, the mystery man is also


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

300 Impotent

“A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

300 Impotent

“A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

​

She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the Great Storm?

There were blustering winds hundreds of miles per hour and hail the size of minivans! What was really strange though was that the hail was shaped like numbers. Zeros, ones, twos, threes, fours, fives, etcetera all falling from the sky! It wasn't just number shapes though; there were giant subtraction, addition, multiplication, and division signs as well. There were even integral symbols, summ


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Christians vs hinduism

three year old son come home crying and so mommy asks: "what happened" son says: "we hindu right? math teacher teach \*sob\* cross!" a confused mother says: "i thought u learning addition?" "yes, addition" "so what did teacher do?" "she wrote cross!" the mother understands and flash cards at son. "four and five. add together is:"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

New addition to an old joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer! (like no idea)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye-deer!

What do you call a deer that's been hung, draw and quartered? A well-executed eyed-deer! (a well-executed idea)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I bought a 12ft tall multiplication symbol and just realised I can also use it as an addition symbol too.

That's a big plus.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I tried to teach a ghost addition. Despite its efforts, in the end, it could only add 1 at a time.

I was disappointed, but I guess it's the spirit that counts.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In addition to all the famous tragedies, Shakespeare also wrote a lesser known hair-raising story.

Romeo and Gillette.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Morbid Jokes From My Dad

We were talking about Trump’s bone spurs and different classes of people who can’t join the military. I said that people who tried to commit suicide can’t enlist in most countries. “Except Al Qaeda.”

I asked if there was Hanukkah music in addition to Christmas music. “Hanukkah music is the sound of money jingling.”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The addition function on my calculator is broken.

I'm nonplussed.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Little timmy is 3 now.

His mom said to his dad,”I dont think we can casually talk about sex from now. Timmy will ask what it is.”
Dad,”Then I will ask you for a calculator whenever I want to have sex.”
It was decided.
So after a couple of days, on a saturday, Dad asked Timmy to go and fetch him a calculator from mom.
Timmy,”mom! Dad has asked for a calculator.&rdqu


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Just found out my brother got a second job at a pizzeria in addition to working at a baggle shop.

Guess you could say he is really rolling in the dough.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did I ever tell you about my viagra addition?

It’s a hard subject to talk about.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You know how addition is the opposite of subtraction.

Well I hit a dog with my car.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I found the perfect addition to any kitchen. Blend, mix, chop...even bake!

It's called a wife.

Ow! Dammit, that hurt! Apparently can throw really well too.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A resignation letter to my boss

I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief. Have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and then pay my estate one year salary death bonus and then continue to pay my spouse my salary with increases until he (or she) dies and a health plan that most people can only dream of ha


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Im asian

With the addition of a cauc.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A weird addition to the petting zoo

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero.

Auntman

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why would Donald Trump make a great addition to The Walking Dead?

All he wants to do is build a wall.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In addition to Billie Chin and little Sammy Chong, there is another character in Carl Douglas's "Kung Fu Fighting."

Expert Tai Ming.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm a drug dealer who has recently begun selling ecstasy in addition to my other products. One of my clients just asked "Do you have anything that will make me roll?"

So I said, "Yes! *ideally*"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was so happy to hear Apple added a new camera feature..

With the addition of panorama I can finally send dick pics to my ex wife!!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Duggar family just announced the name of the newest addition to the family!

Joe-Mo Lester

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If the numbers dont add up....

You're not doing addition

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Meta Suggestion: One day a week where puns are not allowed

First off, I have nothing against puns. They are great for a quick laugh. The problem with puns is that they are too quick and easy. Right now the front page tends to be dominated by puns, and as such longer and more elaborate jokes have trouble gaining traction.

A number of other subreddits do "no images" days, or "text post only" days. I think this could be


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"




In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Anyone hear about Bobby Brown's latest home improvement?

I heard he just put on a *new addition*.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE