Adamant

Jokes

Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!


Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Look where your rud


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My dad and I were arguing about my driving. He said I was driving too carefully and to speed up a bit, but I was adamant that I would stay at my usual speed.

In the end, I had to put my foot down.

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Polar bear joke

Father and Son polar bear are of out on their first hunting mission together. Dad is real proud. They head out over the ice to catch their prey.


After 15 minutes the son pipes up and asks "Dad - am I really a polar bear?"

Dad chuckles and replies "Course you are son"
After 10 minutes he pipes up again "Dad - am I really a polar be


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I told the wife that I didn't want to go to this 80's costume party with her.

But she remained adamant.

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No matter how early I get up to drive my girlfriend to work...

She's still adamant that she's "late"

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A bloke keeps ringing me...

and singing Stand and Deliver down the line. I keep telling him he's got the wrong number, but he's adamant.

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Abraham wandered into Sams pawnshop and placed a leather coat on the counter.

“How much will you give me for this jacket?”

Sam checked it over. “$20, and that’s the best” he replied.

“But that jacket is worth $100" argued Abraham.

Sam was adamant. “$20 or nothing.”

“Are you sure that’s all it’s worth?” pressed Abe.

“Posi


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My doctor was adamant that I should swallow a small rock to help ease my back pain.

It was a hard pill to swallow.

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Someone keeps calling me...

...and singing 'Stand and Deliver' and 'Prince Charming' down the phone. I keep telling him to fuck off, but he's adamant.

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A drunk staggered down to a hotel reception

He was demanding a change of room. He was so insistent that the receptionist was forced to call the manager.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the manager
"I want another room" said the drunk
"But I see you're in room 224. That's one of the best rooms in the hotel."
"I don't care. I want another room"
"Ve


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The first ant...

... Was quite adamant.....

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When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups...

When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups. There was a brand identity project for a new company, and I was in charge of typography, but those two disagreed with my choice of font.

The first one was this stony-looking Peruvian-American man named Esteban Ferrero, but since that's Spanish for Steven Smith, and our company had a rule that everyone has to call ea


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I just met a guy addicted to brake fluid.

However, he was adamant that he could stop anytime.

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Bloke in the pub

The other night, this bloke in the pub was telling me he was a big star in the 80's with a song called "stand and deliver".
I didn't believe a word he said, but he was adamant



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Beyond the grave the pain endures

Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband's rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don't do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral.




The widow tells the guy


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Fancy Dress

My mate and I decided to go to a fancy dress but he was adamant that we had to go dressed as Tom Chaplin and Jesse Quin.

I wasn't very Keane on the idea.

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Wrong number

Some guy keeps texting "stand and deliver" to me. I keep telling him he's got the wrong number, but he's adamant

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