Acknowledge

Jokes

Todays sad reality

Can we acknowledge the fact that somewhere out there is a boy masturbating to a picture of himself with the girl snapchat filter?

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How do Canadians acknowledge Australian expats who have assimilated well?

Good eh, mate.

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Ever since I decided to swap gender my son never notices me

Honestly he looks right through me and doesn’t acknowledge my existence and seems to be frightened when I say something. It’s like I’m totally trans-parent

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Me: People treat me like a god

Guy: Really?

Me: Yeah, they only acknowledge me when they want something

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The competitive Greyhound

1, 2 was a greyhound,
3, 4 was 1, 2
1, 2, 1, 1 race
3, 4, 1, 1, 2
1, 2, 1, 4, 3, 4
3, 4, 1, 4, 1, 2
However
1, 2, 8, 3, 4
2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 1
2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1,2.


‘One two’, was a greyhound,
‘Three four’, was one too,
‘One two’, won one race,
‘Three four’, won one


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In 1999, Faith Hill originally wrote one of her hit songs for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan. In the musical, Captain Hook would begin to see all the great things his right hand man does for him and his ship. Hook decides to acknowledge all his hard work by singing to the crew...

Ooh I love the way you, love the way you love, Smee...

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Our friend Ty is the state boxing champion, but my Chinese buddy refuses to believe it.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty Won.

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How did the white supremacist acknowledge Kim Kardashian?

"'Kay, KK."

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My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.

He was in denial.

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I ejaculated in my pants during gym class.

I am telling you because I feel it is important to acknowledge your shortcummings.

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Chuck Norris does not acknowledge the Periodic Table of Elements ...

because the only element he cares about is the element of surprise.

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My relationship is like my penis...

My girlfriend refuses to acknowledge that it exists

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I met a Japanese mathematician yesterday

Japanese Mathematician: "Acknowledge my presence, zero"

Me: "Can you elaborate in mathematical terms?"

Japanese Mathematician: "Notice me sin(pi)"

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What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter?

Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves.

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A troll, a karma whore, a neckbeard and a circle jerker walk into a bar...

...none of them acknowledge each other because they are all on reddit.

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Did you hear about the D.A.R.E officer with a lisp?

"Don't meth around with drugs"

(I acknowledge the fact that this is an atrocious joke but it came to me and I had to share)

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Rant about Black History Month

I am so tired of black history month. It is unbelievably racist. First of which, it encourages the idea that black history is not American history by distinguishing the two. Secondly, the word black reduces an entire group of people to their skin color. Because of this, I think we should emphasis that black history is a part of American history and acknowledge their ethnic background. Which is why


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So a guy walks into a bar...

lacking the humility to acknowledge that he wasn't watching where he was going, apologize to the bar, and go about his day, the guy got very argumentative and started a fight with the bar. at which point, the bar shot him.

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I like my Coffee, like my President. . .

Black with some cream. But don't acknowledge the cream because it's so much more impressive to have it straight black.

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What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

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A dog owner and a cat owner are walking the owner's dog...

And are unsurprisingly arguing about which animal is better.

"Don't you feel unloved and used every time your cat demands food and doesn't show a shred of gratitude after you feed it?" Asks the dog owner.

"Not really," replies the cat owner. "I know that my cat loves me, and I don't need a soppy display of affection every time I ac


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