My doctor recommended I get support for my aching left foot,
But I explained that I didn't want to add insole to injury.
I ate horse once by accident...
My pulse started racing and my stomach was aching so I called my wife then went to the hospital. When she came to visit, she asked the Doctor how I was. He told her I was in “stable” condition.
While Visiting Scotland I stop at a bar
While I was in Scotland I stop at the local pub and belly up next to an old drunk Scot nursing his drink.
After a few drink he says to me, "Ach, laddie, you see this bar? This bar right here?! I built this bar with mine own two hands and mine own aching back! But do they call me MacGregor the bar builder? Noooo"
Wife : My body is aching.
Husband : Yes but you are a queen.
When is the best time to see a dentist for an aching tooth?
as soon as fucking possible
Normal people see four steps lazy people see standing up looking at the Target acknowledging that I have to move forward prepare mentally for moving forward take that agonizing first step take that demolishing second step take that bone cracking muscle aching third step final step to the bag and grab what you need and then turn all the way around and do all that work over again
Dentist:I am going to pull the aching tooth, but dont worry it will take just five minutes.
My friend gave me a ride to work but every time we drove under a bridge my joints started aching.
Guess I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
Im incredibly stressed.
I woke up aching all over.
Couldn’t even find a spot in my usual parking area.
I’ve been through a lot.
Little Johnny is complaining to his mother early in the morning
'Mum, I have a stomach ache...'
'Don't worry, honey,' says the mother. 'It's only aching because you have an empty stomach.'
Little Johnny acknowledges this and calms down. In the evening, Little Johnny's parents welcome an esteemed guest: the Under Secretary of Interior. During the course of the evening, the Under Secretary sa
Keep your Mouth Closed
A gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out.
The Karachi dentist said, "Surely you have dentist in Islamabad! You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to."
"We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths," replied the man with the aching tooth.
A sickly, balding, aching man goes to the doctor for the results of his lab blood tests.
A sickly, balding, aching man goes to the doctor for the results of his lab blood ests.
A guy goes to a doctor...
A guy goes to a doctor complaining his elbow his aching. Doctor asks him to bring in a urine sample.
Guy is seriously mad, and thinks: "I have an aching elbow and he asks for urine sample?" So he decides to mess with the doctor and mixes his cats urine with his wifes and returns it to the doctor.
Day after he gets a call from the doctor and doctor says: "Yo
A large, powerfully-built guy...
....meets a woman at a bar.
After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, “See that, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!” She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a b
After the funeral of her late husband, the widow took the urn of his cremated ashes home. She got out of her car, holding the urn, and said, "Frank... I always wanted a nice convertible, but you got me an economy sedan and said 'Good enough.'"
Then she turned to her house.
"I told you I wanted a nice beachfront condo... but you bought this fixer-u