Accord

Jokes

My wife tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

But I refused, if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I have a friend that believes Jesus' disciples were all Mexican. I said that's ridiculous and impossible until I remembered

That the Bible says that there were 12 of them and they went around in one accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I whisked my wife off to the Caribbean last week.

Jamaica?

No she went of her own accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There are reports of Civic unrest coming in from all over the city, but Im not worried...

I drive an Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex it will be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Https:www.reddit.comrJokescomments7txtnsmy_girlfriend_tried_to_make_me_have_sex_on_the

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic



But I refused, if I'm going to have sex it's going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Apparently, Jesus drove a Honda. But he didn't like to talk about it...

"For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic


But I refused.

If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

But I refused, if I'm going to have sex it's going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My sister's going to the Carribbean,

Jamaica?

No, she's going on her own accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do we know Jesus drove a Honda and was modest about it?

Jesus: "For I did not speak of my own accord"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"My wife went on vacation."

"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jesus' apostles were Mexican...

...Because there were twelve of them who traveled in an accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic...

But if I’m gonna have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I couldn't get my 2006 Honda Accord to start this morning

Plenty of gas, no previous issues. I wasn't real far from calling a mechanic before I realized that I had forgotten to wear my cargo pants.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the Honda employee who was found not guilty?

It was the judge’s Civic duty to let him leave on his own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why doesn't anyone ever talk about the Honda Jesus used to own?

Because he didn't speak of his own accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I put Vin Diesel in my 1996 Honda Accord.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I went to the gym on my own accord this morning.

I mean why would I take some one else's car?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My gf tried to persuade me to have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex with her, it's going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife begged me to get a Civic for the family.

But if I want to get a car, it will be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Every since I divorced my wife life has been so much better

Turns out I really enjoy living in my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do French people feel about the Honda Accord?

They say it’s ok.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My boyfriend wanted us to have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused.

If I'm ever going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My boyfriend wanted us to have sec on the good of his Honda Civic. I refused.

If I'm ever going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic...

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend wanted to have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. NSFW

I said no. If we are going to have sex on a car its going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic...

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What type of car did the apostles drive?

A Honda, because they were all in one Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Jedi is fighting...

A Jedi is fighting some clone troopers when suddenly he drops his laser sword in the heat of battle. Luckily it comes back to him, seemingly of its own accord. After he has won, he looks down at his weapon with amazement, and says “thank you, you’re a LIGHTSABER!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The other day my friend said that, "its harsh to have Uber drivers drive in heavy rain for you"...

I said, "He's doing it on his own Accord."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was chatting with my coworker about cars last week and I was gonna ask him what kind of car he had...

Before I could, he told me of his own accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Trump has pulled out of the Iran Accord

I wish his dad had pulled out - he could have saved the world a small load of a million donalds

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jesus drove a Honda, but didnt like to talk about it.

“for I did not speak of my own accord.” – John 12:49

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My mom always says that when we have guests over, never let them take your car.

Let them leave on their own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Bible says you can fit 12 men in a Honda.

All the disciples were in one Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jesus drove a Honda Accord but didn't like to talk about it.

"For I did not speak of my own Accord" - John 12:49

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In the bible, Jesus says "for I do not speak of my own accord." I guess he drove a honda but just didn't like to talk about it

I always thought he drove a christler

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I told my girlfriend I wanted to have sex on a car...

She said okay but only on her own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic.....

But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jesus drove a Honda, but nobody knew about it.

For I did not speak of my own accord. - John 12:49

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the man say to the car dealer when he offered to sell his car for him?

No thanks, I think I'll sell it on my own *accord.*

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic...

But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Louie C.K.'s Honda Civic joke at the Oscars

Really struck Accord

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Some say Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it"

"For I did not speak of my own Accord..." - John 12:49

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a Honda Accord that has been in a crash?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion.

...I'll, uh, see myself out.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE