Accomplishment

Jokes

Now hiring masochists. Job description...

* as an intern you will gain experience without having to think about money
* you only have to work 50 out of the 52 weeks per year, and you can have all the overtime you want
* free air conditioning during winter, and free heat during summer
* learn responsibility as the boss will dump all the work on his underlings while he enjoys a relaxing day of watching tv
* If you ge


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Give him the ability to buy the fish and he'll feel a real sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Disney forgot Gaston's greatest accomplishment

He was a winner of the no belle prize.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Your days are numbered!"

# "Your days are numbered!"

​

Inventor of the calendar, joyously announcing his accomplishment!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What was the one-armed pornstars biggest accomplishment?

She single-handedly Jerked off an entire football team

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's Steven Hawkingson's greatest scientific accomplishment?

Uh, there's no such person.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do some people pay for in-game items even though they can use the money for something else?

**Because it gives them a sense of *Pride* and *Accomplishment* **

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

This is the award I got for 10 years at Electronic Arts - My biggest accomplishment

A sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

LPT: If you want to keep a clean room, pay someone else to clean it.

This will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the EA executive cross the road?

To provide himself with a sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey in celebration of his first blowjob

As the bartender discovers the man is celebrating his first blowjob the bartender offers the man another 5 free shots of whiskey for his accomplishment, the man turns around denies the offer and says 'nah thats fine, i only need one to take away the taste'

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you create a great game?

You give players a sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My sister in law came to visit us

As soon as she arrived, my wife said to me, "hurry, give your SIL complex"

So I shouted at SIL, "you are short and thin, you have no professional qualification, you don't have a job, you failed at every interview you gave, you don't have a boyfriend, you are ugly and no one will ever want to fuck you."

That made my SIL to break down and to


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Man's true accomplishment

Man : Dude, I drank two bottles of vodka in one go.


Interveiwer : You are hired.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I hate when people ride one accomplishment for their whole life and brag about it all the time

Like seriously, I don’t care if you went to the freaking Moon. Do something else with your life Buzz

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I was growing up my dad told me I would amount to anything

But today I ate a whole box of girl scout cookies by myself and I think that counts as an accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Do you know why EA leeches as much money as they can off of gamers?

It gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do Jesus Christ and Hitler have in common?

They both achieved their greatest accomplishment by going to hell.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Major accomplishment in 2015

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A recent survey asked 12 year old's what was their best accomplishment in 2015.

87 percent of them answered "your mom"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My husband believes my greatest accomplishment...

is his last name.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What was Hitler's greatest accomplishment?

He killed Hitler

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I've just achieved a week and counting without Reddit!

I just had to tell you guys of my accomplishment!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why are people comparing Trump to Reagen?

Reagan's biggest accomplishment was tearing down a wall not putting one up.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What was Batman's greatest accomplishment?

Pulling a Robin out of Bruce Wayne's Dick

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

LPT When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the greatest accomplishment of the Austrian people?

Successfully convincing the rest of the world that Beethoven was Austrian and that Hitler was German.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two robbers are robbing a bank

They have planned it carefully so that they will have no trouble entering.
They soon come across a room, filled with vaults.

One of the robbers open a vault, only to find it completely empty, save a bowl of yoghurt.
The robbers open every vault, one by one, and still, nothing but yoghurt.

They then decide to eat the yoghurts and atleast get a sense of accompl


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE