Accompany

Jokes

A lion is about to do his first line of cocaine.

Suddenly a rabbit appears and says, "Why are you wasting your life? Come with me. We'll take a stroll through the forest.".
The lion, convinced by the rabbit, agrees to take the stroll.
A little further, they meet a monkey who is ready to take his first hit of opium. The rabbit says, "Why are you wasting your life? Come with me. We'll take a stroll through the


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This really ugly girl walked up to me.

"Would you accompany me to dinner?" she asked.

I said, "Certainly. As long as I'm the designated driver."

"You aren't drinking?" she asked.

I said, "I am, but that's the only way I'll have a good time."

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When I asked the court why I was forced to accompany a gentleman to a social engagement

They said I was mandated

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Lawyer Joke....

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant'


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Marriage banter

A man is at a pretty much sold out sports event with all seats taken except the one right beside him.

The guy on his other side inquires about the empty seat.
"Oh it was my wife's" says the man.
"Ooh what happened, trouble in paradise?"
"No, she passed away unfortunately"
"Oh I am so sorry. I don't know what to say..


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Husbands

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. .............. Moral : Accompany ur wife....

The story continues....
The sho


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Not exactly a joke, but funny short story.

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. .............. Moral : Accompany ur wife....

The story continues....
The sho


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Kara and Jim are two high school misfits...

...Kara has a wooden eye, while Jim has a peg leg. The big dance was coming up, so Kara goes up to Jim and asks him if he would like to accompany her to the dance.

Very excited, Jim exclaims, "OH WOULD I!!!"

Kara then runs away screaming, "PEG LEG!!!!!!"

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