Accidental

Jokes

Once Bob Ross And A Girl Had An Accidental Pregnancy

Than Bob Ross Said "We All Make Happy Accidents"

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Accidental racism

A black kid walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says: "Look Mama, I'm a white boy!"


His mother smacks him and says: "Go to your Daddy and say what you just said!"


The boy finds his father and says: "Look Daddy, I'm a white bo


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What do you call an accidental circumcision

A slip-rip

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NEW state slogan for Wisconsin?

Many years ago I worked for a company that was based in a small town in Wisconsin... I would commute from Dallas to ORD (O'Hare) and make a 2-4h drive during the harshest of winter weather. The snow in this area of the country is heavy and wet and clearing roads is very difficult for even the best of snow plow trucks. I heard stories of a local Wisconsin cheese manufacturer that had an accid


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A blind man walks into a bar

And then a table, a chair, and a gentleman that could possibly be an accidental reposted.

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If youre mom was a music teacher...

She’d call you an accidental.

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An oral surgeon messed up in the OR.

He swears it was accidental.

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What did the comedian name his accidental son?

No Son Intended

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What did the comedian name is accidental son?

No Son Intended

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My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth.

He says it’s accidental.

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Why aren't vampires afraid of accidental pregnancies?

Because they can only come inside when invited.

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There are two types of parents...

The ones who had their child through an accidental pregnancy, and the liars.

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My boss is black and this week he called me into his office and rudely accused me of accidental racism.

I declined his accusations and told him that I don't like his tone.

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What do you call an accidental jedi?

Fluke Skywalker

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What do you call an accidental celebrity?

Kim Kardashian

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Accidental Exposure

A man is walking down the street on a nice Spring day, casually gazing into the many shop window displays. Suddenly, he notices a woman walking in the opposite direction, and as she gets closer he notices that one of her breasts is hanging out of her blouse. She seems oblivious, and the man is in two minds whether to tell her as she comes within spitting distance, but decides to do the gentlemanly


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What do you call an accidental pregnancy in Canada?

A Tinder egg.

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"I have herpes. You should get yourself checked"

Is by far the worst accidental text I've ever sent to my son.

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The government once tried to repeal Murphy's Law.

But everything kept going wrong. The power went out, accidental No votes, the pen broke and spilled ink all over the bill...

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If the dentist intentionally hurts you would you still call it...

Accidental?

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Accidental filled the escort up with diesel..

She died..

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I was walking along when I stepped on a Bee

Now it's a Bb. Honestly, it was accidental.

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What do you call the accidental nuclear bombing of a furniture plant?

Chairnobyl.

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My mum made an accidental physics joke today.

Me: What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

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Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth?

It was accidental.

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Father in law just made an accidental calculus joke

By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.

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My dentist bumped into my orthodontist.

I'm sure it was acci*dental*.

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Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

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Accidental dick pics can happen

I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book.

It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps.

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Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra.

"I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"

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My accidental mothers day joke.

So, this year I accidentally bought my mom a mothers day card meant for grandmothers. 10 Minutes after i gave it to her she comes up to me and says "You didn't read the card you bought me did you? You accidentally bought me a grandmothers card haha". To this i replied with "No i didn't....Surprise!". I've never seen my mothers demeanor change so fast. Good thing


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What did Oscar Wilde name his accidental child?

Experience

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What did Oscar Wilde name his accidental child?

Experience

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What did Oscar Wilde name his accidental child?

Experience

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What did Oscar Wilde name his accidental child?

Experience

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Accidental dad joke 2.0

[DELETED]

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Accidental dad joke

"The condom ripped"

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MY Accidental Dad Joke... from when I was 16.

I was at the lake in town with my HS girlfriend after hours, enjoying a romantic night alone on the beach, when we noticed a couple across the lake from us engaged in some fun activity of their own. We weren't sure if we were seeing sex going down or not, because it's a decent distance across the lake, so I said "He might just be wearing (cock-y) pants." (I had only seen the wo


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Accidental dad joke

So I was making soda in my Soda Stream for some friends that were over. For those that don't know a soda stream is a little c02 pump you get at target that carbonates water for you. Anyways, you're only supposed to pump it like 4-5 times. I wanted it super fizzy so I was pumping it way more than that. One of my friends goes "It's not going to get any fizzier" to which i sa


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So, me and my girlfriend where doing some roleplay.

I was Santa she was a naughty girl. 'Unfortunately you've been a naughty girl and you're on Santas naughty list and wont be receiving any presents this year.' 'oh no Santa i really want a present i'll do anything to get on your good list' 'oh i dont know if there is a way i'm afraid' you're just going to have to bend over my knee and take your


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Accidental paralysis joke

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Accidental paralysis joke

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What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?

Both can be fixed with a coathanger.

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Snowboarders will Understand

Edit: accidental repost. Deleting, sorry guys
: /

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How do you wash time?

With an alarm cloth.

My friend and I created this joke on accident today, for our first accidental original joke, I'd say it's not half bad.

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