Accelerate

Jokes

Why did the thug accelerate to a hospital upon seeing a police car behind?

He was afraid of a Cadillac arrest.

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An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with the Large Hadron Collider, a prestigious and expensive research


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A fine wine takes between ten and twenty years to fully mature

But you can accelerate the processes by killing its parents

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What do you call a truck that can't accelerate?

A pickup with no pickup

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Black lives matter.

Unless you accelerate them to the velocity of light, then black lives energy.

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Two men are talking at a bar...

The first man says to the second “I can never seem to sneak past my wife, when I get home from the bar she always yells at me”.
The second man asks “well, what do you do when you leave for home?”.
The first man replies “ when I get home, I turn the engine off and cruise into the driveway, I slowly open the door and I quietly creep up the stairs but despite


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A speedy joke

I'm just going to accelerate right to the punchline:

Snap, Crackle and Pop are a bunch of Jerks.

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A man steps onto an escalator when he's thrown violently on the upper floor after the stairs sponeoustly accelerate to break-neck speeds

[deleted]

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My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common.

The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my crotch.

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What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 ms2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G 6.67x10-11Nm2kg2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

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