Abused

Jokes

Why was the child abused?

Lack of evidence in the Tyreek Hill case

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The Harry Potter stories are totally unrealistic..

None of the characters were sexually abused despite it being set in a British boarding school.

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What do you call a fly with no wings?

Cruelly abused

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I was gonna tell Catholic jokes...

...but those have been abused.

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I was gonna fell a Catholic joke...

...but those have been abused.

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I was sexually abused by my mother.

Everyday when I was a baby she would force her tits into my mouth and make me suck them.

Even crying out for help, just seemed to encourage her to do it all the more, even dad ignored the abuse the bastard .

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What do 10k abused women have in common?

None of them know when to shut the fuck up.

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Steven Tyler is opening an abused womans home in TN

That’s what I call a punch line.

Also, he had a 14 year old gf in 1975.

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So my dad always abused me as a kid...

..but I knew it wasnt his fault. I wasnt gonna abuse him back, I was gonna abuse what made him do that to me.

So thats how I became a raging alcoholic.

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Found out a friend of mine had been sexually abused. When I asked her why she never spoke about it, she said..

"I don't know.. I guess it's just a touchy subject."

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I like my women the same way I like my coffee jokes

Stolen and abused so many times you can't remember what it looked like originally

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What do you call a domestically abused fish?

Battered Cod

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I was gonna tell a Catholic joke

But those have been abused

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Why did the abused boy not want to visit Madame Tussauds?

Because it was full of whacks.

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Did you hear about the contractor who abused the offer for a free kitchen counter top?

He took it for granite.

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Cop writing a parking ticket

My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, "come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "asshole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So Shirley (m


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What is the most abused substance in the water industry?

Plumber's crack.

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Why did the mailman get abused for delivering the package twice?

because it was a repost

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How did the sad African-American woman look after being domestically abused?

Black and blue.

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My dog after a workout ...

My dog waits for me to finish a workout the same way an abused housewife waits for her husband to finish his 5th pint after a long day at the shipping yard

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What does an abused pet, and the Dallas Cowboys have in common?

Shitty Owner

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Drugs

I’ve been abusing drugs for 2 years now but they got a hold of a knife, first time I’ve been abused since my dad left

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Drugs OC

I’ve been abusing drugs for 2 years now but they got a hold of a knife, first time I’ve been abused since my dad left

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Played rounders with a guy that abused fat kids.

He was a big hitter.

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What hashtag do cows use when sexually abused?

\#Memoo

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How does an abused dog describe it's life?

"Ruff"

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I was going to make a joke about how i was abused..

But my father beat me to it.

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Michael Jackson never sexually abused children

children abused him.







I'll show myself the way out.

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Journalist to Abused Wife

Journalist : Do you know what your husband does in his free time ?

Wife : *shrugs* beats me.

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According to Trump only this is more dangerous and widely abused than America's gun loving culture.

[deleted]

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What is the couple from California that abused and neglected their 13 kids going to do in prison?

Turpin time

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Why is Sven afraid of sex?

Because he was badly abused by his uncle when he was 5

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The winner of a beauty contest got abused by her husband afterwards.

[deleted]

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My friend is a sex offender.

He never abused anybody, people are just offended at the thought of having sex with him.

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Grandson told me his uncle abused him as an April fools prank.

I don't know why he's so upset I didn't fall for it.

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The Big Mac is a perfect hang over cure

The reason you have a hang over is because you abused you body and it is punishing you. If you eat a Big Mac your body will know you are just going to continue to abuse yourself. So the hang over will just give up and go away.

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What do you call a string orchestra consisting of abused dogs and cats?

[deleted]

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My class at school abused a kid with a broken erection

We were always rubbing him up the wrong way

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What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

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My father abused me terribly.

[deleted]

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The lead singer of "Frankie Goes to Hollywood" has battled against a lifelong depression after being abused as a child.

[deleted]

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I've recently recalled some troubling memories...as a child I was sexually abused...

...best I can recall...I did most of it myself.

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A female professor was recently found guilty of sexually abusing a mentally disabled male cerebral palsy patient under her care.

She got moist by her own retard.

Edit: It's totally a real thing, too.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/professor-sexually-abused-severely-disabled-6576429

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What did the police officer say to the iPhone who abused his wife?

You are charged with Battery

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Why do vegans hate giving blow jobs?

Because the meat they are eating has definately been abused.

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A therapist asks his patient if he was ever abused as a child.

The patient, an ex-schoolyard bully, replies, "No, I abused as a child."

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I told my doctor I abused drugs last night. Doctor:how? me: I punched my bottle of vicodin

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Everyone had heard of the Ronald McDonald house for abused children.....

Now they're opening the tempura house for lightly battered women.

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Why does 7 have an odd sense of humor?

Because he abused when he was younger.. it's really quite sad.

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To any redditors who abuse, or have abused drugs...

violence is not the answer.

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